wow, it's been a while, huh?

SOoooo, looks like it's been more than half a decade since I last made use of this blog. I have absolutely been reading and crocheting quite a bit in that time, but I have also gotten a job & had a kid graduate high school (and both my younger kids *start* high school) in that time, so there hasn't really been much time to even think, much less type out what I'm thinking. And, of course, some of what's been happening in the ol' noggin are... sensitive topics which I don't want certain people who Actually Know Me in Real Life stumbling across.

Anyway, today's round of introspection comes from a couple of Twitter-y things that I've been interactive with today. One of those was about acts of kindness in a grocery line, prompting me to talk about how, when I was working the front registers at my store (I'm in the pharmacy now, working on becoming a pharmacy technician), I would keep a handful of mostly my own change at my register so that when people would come through with a WIC check for $8 of produce, and they would go over that amount by a bit, I could just say, "It's ok. Someone earlier didn't want their coin change, so I've got enough here to cover you." Obviously  I couldn't cover large amounts, but like a quarter or so? We don't need to start taking out individual grapes or a banana just so you can finish up your shopping. Anyway, that sparked a conversation where I talked a little bit about having been on WIC myself when my kids were small and we were a military family, and how much the summer Farmer's Market vouchers meant for us in terms of helping my kids eat well. Which turned into how the Army post near me is sending a lot of people to my pharmacy recently because they *cannot afford* to restock meds -- maintenance meds, like blood pressure, cholesterol, oral diabetics -- and these people are being hit with an unexpected expense in the form of copays.

The other Tweet was someone asking about a memorable Christmas present from your childhood. For me, that was a hot pink AM/FM radio, about the size of a Walkman cassette player, when I was about 7 (so, late mid-80s). I wandered around the neighborhood with that thing *constantly* on. It was the first time I had any semblance of control over what music I listened to, and I loved it. I listened mostly to a "Greatest Hits of the 60s, 70s, and today" station -- at home, my mom listened to a fair bit of the same music, but also a lot of more folk-y, protest-y music (which I still love). My dad's parents were pretty much all Grand Ole Opry, All the Time (which, again, I still love) and my mom's parents were... well, my granddad was career Army, and he grew up in the bayous of Louisiana, speaking French before he spoke English. There was a lot of zydeco, but he also loved some folk/anti-war stuff, the Everly Brothers... it was a really weird mix, honestly, and I remember him singing "Where Have All the Flowers Gone" really clearly. But then, he also loved to put on old Big Band records and put a granddaughter on his feet (there were half a dozen of us girls) and dance us all around the basement -- so if you ever wonder about my love for those old classics, as well as the way current artists like the Puppini Sisters and PostModern Jukebox are reinventing the style, well, it's that. My grandmother, on the other hand, grew up dirt poor in town, and had a sort of social-climbing mindset that she couldn't help (very Hyacinth Bouquet, if you're familiar with British comedies) and she would only play church hymns and Classical music.

Anyway, the take-away here is that I have very weird and wonderfully varied taste in music, but aside from a round handful of exceptions, I haven't been exposed to a whole lot of new music since the mid-90s, and most of what I have heard is variations on an older theme -- some very Irish-folk-inspired rock, the aforementioned PMJ & Puppini Sisters, etc. Maybe one day I'll do a rec list of some of the stuff I'm really listening to these days. It'll be fun!

And somehow all of that led me to this blog, and to books, and my reading. I have a very weird, messy TBR, consisting of paper and digital books that I own  but haven't read yet, wishlists across various sites, a couple of actual, physically written/typed lists, and a folder of pictures of books that looked interesting but I couldn't buy right then for whatever reason. Oh, and a Goodreads Want to Read shelf. Unfortunately I'm not actually really reading new books right now. There's a text post I saw on Tumblr not too long ago about not having the emotional wherewithal to deal with learning to love new characters and get familiar with a new world. And honestly, that's me. I've been doing a bit of rereading (although obviously not blogging about it, which I really should consider), and reading a lot of fanfic.

I don't really like to talk about my fanfic reading, though. Not because of any sort of shame, or not wanting to share my reading kinks, or whatever, but because of the sense of anonymity of not really knowing if the person whose words I'm reading is also someone that I know or could know in real life. I know there are some authors I read & follow on social media who write fanfic, but I don't know if they write in a fandom I read, or what their pseuds are, and the fanfic authors I follow, I don't really know anything about their lives outside of their fandoms.

The thing for me is, reading an author's public work, that I have paid actual real money for, gives me the right to express my feelings about it. There are certain standards in craft & editing that are reasonable to expect from a professionally published book, and no expectation that they are going to go back and "fix" whatever I find wrong with the book, and if there are major issues with characterization, or plot holes that bug the hell out of me, or subpar editing that someone paid for, I have the right to point that out so that if there's someone out there who might want to know those things can find it out before they decide if they want to fork out the money to own/read that book. It's one of the things I look for if I'm on the fence about a book or author or even publisher -- is it well edited, or well written enough to gloss over a lack of editing? Whatever in the blurb caught my attention, did the author do it justice, or was it just a tease? Is it actually more nuanced than that half-page description can convey? Does it mess up tropes I love or turn tropes I hate on their ear?

With fanfic, I feel more gentle, nurturing. A lot of fanfic writers are quite young, or are writing in English as, well, not their first language. A Beta reader is often someone equally young or non-English speaking, or simply someone who doesn't actually read for fun, but needs something from the media they love that it's not giving them, so they turn to fanfic to find that missing bit. And I don't think "constructive criticism" is really particularly constructive, especially once something has been posted. If I could, I would Beta everything in my fandoms, and maybe that would make them better, or maybe it would only make them better FOR ME, but I don't have the time, and I'm not living with the conviction that I and only I am capable of deciding what is and is not right for a story that is not my own, written by or for people who are not me. Unfortunately, I'm not sure I'm capable of leaving a good comment (comment anxiety is definitely a real thing), so I tend to stick with likes and kudos depending on where I'm reading.

Also, no, I'm not telling you which fandoms I consider mine, but I will say that they are almost all movie/TV fandoms but NOT movies/TV that I actually have watched more than a couple of episodes of. I find that knowing too much of canon spoils my enjoyment and makes nearly every person seem out of character. It's weird, I know, but it works for me.

Anyway, I guess that's all I have to say for now. It's getting late, and the hockey game is in its last period, and I have a sweater going that all I need to finish is the cuffs and maybe the pockets if I decide to add them, so I think I'll go do those things. Much love to all; hopefully I'll see you soon. I'd like to make this a habit again; writing down my weird random rambling thoughts and maybe sharing a few things I'm loving with the ether.

Just a little update

So, the Never-Ending Afghan is really, truly almost finished -- I just have to finish the final row of edging & I have about a side and a half of that left (which, considering this is queen-sized, is not exactly an inconsequential amount) but I get a fair amount of that done during hockey games if it's not too hot in the house. That's a LOT of blanket to be under & it gets uncomfortable if it's in the 80s (or even high 70s) while I'm trying to work on it.

The next afghan I'm going to do is underway -- it's going a bit slower because it's more small pieces and in all kinds of different colors, rather than two, and also I'm using an actual pattern for this one, which is not for as big an afghan as I intend to end up with, so... I may take some liberties with the pattern & do a few things slightly differently & just use the pattern for the squares. We shall see, as it gets further along.

In between all that, I've been making infinity scarves -- I made a really pretty green-and-white one, where I basically created the pattern myself, for a friend in Utah, and all my kids have requested one "just like it, only with different colors." And it really only takes a few hours, so I'm doing those sort of in-between. & additionally, a friend just moved to Denver, so he's getting a really nice charcoal infinity scarf that I found the pattern for off the internet somewhere. It looks really nice; it was simple to make & I think it will work well. I may, in fact, make up more of both kinds of scarves to send to people for Christmas presents. (If you're still reading this and you want one, I'll post more pictures on Flickr & you can tell me what colors you like & I can see if I can find them in super-soft yarn. I also intend to eventually finish that hairpin lace that kind of got set aside, and make it into an infinity scarf. But since it involves deliberately setting aside time and clearing off the table, it's harder for me to make it happen -- my other stuff I can just pick up whenever I sit down; I don't have to have that flat surface to work on.

Beyond that, I've been working on trying to keep my house clean and rearranging the chore thing so that my kids have a few more responsibilities, and a few different responsibilities. We're all cycling through the main rooms of the house, keeping them clean-and-neat-ish, some of us with more success than others (sadly, I'm one of the less successful; on chore days I'm too busy supervising everyone else, and during the week I'm typically caught up in more in-depth cleaning, running errands, doing one-off types of chores, crocheting, and occasionally volunteering at the boys' school).

Also, yes, I've finally been called to come in & volunteer at the school -- they had a bumper-crop of willing volunteers this year, so it took a while to work out what to do with people. I was asked to come in, and I ended up in the library shelving books for an hour or so. I ran across a few treasure troves of childhood favorites -- Lois Lowry, Judy Blume, E. L. Konigsberg -- with some books that I loved but for whatever reason don't own myself and also some books by those authors I've never heard of. I was invited to just sit down & read once I'd cleared the cart of returned material, but I had other obligations so I wasn't able to, but I have an open invitation to come back & just read sometime if I want to. And I *do* want to; but I also want to volunteer in more parts of the school than just the library, so maybe that will be my reward -- work for an hour or so, then treat myself to a book in the library on a comfy chair.

SO, yeah.

Also, the DH went hunting this morning & he tells me he got two wild pigs. I'm not so thrilled about certain parts of this (you can probably figure out which ones), but can't deny that I'm pretty happy about having all that pork! He wants to try his hand at sausage at some point; we have a meat grinder, seasoning, and casings, but who knows when he'll actually find the time!

If it ain't one thing, it's another...

so, my weekend:

Sat: Drive DH to Savannah to get his stuff out of his semi. Drive to Richmond Hill to Urgent Care Clinic. Drive to Savannah to ER. Leave DH in ER & drive home to put kids in bed. Drive BACK to Savannah to take DH some things he'd need overnight after admitted into hospital (like his CPAP). 

Sun: Get home from hospital at 2 a.m. Crash HARD. Wake up, feed kids, get kids through a few basic necessary chores, feed them again, take them & food to neighbor's for the day so I can drive *back* up to Savannah to visit DH in the hospital where he's had a bad reaction to a new antibiotic they put him on. He sleeps the whole time I'm there; finally I head back home, stopping at the grocery store on the way. Home in time to get kids to bed.

Mon: take kids to visit DH in hospital; when he gets overwhelmed by them, I take them to the mall where they fuss & whine that I won't get them All The Things, they complain they're starving then eat 2 bites of dinner & say they're full. Home. Bed, dammit. Through all these days there's a weird knocking under the car.

Tues: take kids to optometrist b/c DinoBoy has been having trouble seeing the board in school. Insurance does not cover. Yay. Take kids home; make them eat lunch. Get ready to go to Sav to pick up DH who's getting discharged today. Going to leave kids home alone b/c should only be a couple of hours... Ha! 1st hear bloody murder being screamed from house before I even start the car. Go in; it's Girl-child being bitchy. Make everyone get in car. Drive to Savannah for 5th time in 4 days. Wait for 4+ hrs for DH to (finally) get discharged.  Start for home; realize kids have school tomorrow so we should eat on the way. Pick a restaurant 4 blocks from hospital. Takes us 20 min to drive the <2 miles. Eat (it was YUM. Five Guys). Get caught in *different* traffic on other end of town after a relatively smooth drive *through* town. Tire blows. DH & the boys change the tire (Girl-child would have helped but didn't want to get dirty). Drop DH at Wal-mart to put in his Rx's; take kids home; rush boys through showers & brushing teeth & into bed. Drive back to Wal-mart to take DH his wallet & pick up a new window fan b/c the one in our room isn't working.

DH is finally home. He's still on the antibiotic that gave him a bad reaction, but he's OK as long as he takes Benadryl about half an hour before the antibiotic. He's also on Oxycodone for pain, which means he can't drive which means he's going to miss a week's work (wonderful...) on top of which we now have to replace a tire and there's still that weird banging noise...

If it's not one thing, it's another...

But there was this cute little froggie on the door at one point, so that's a happy...

I'm aliiiiive!

Seriously, I suck at this blogging thing. I'm trying to get better at it, though!

I've picked crocheting back up sometime in the past year. It started as a desperation thing -- we were seriously broke & I needed Christmas presents for people and yarn is basically cheap and plentiful if you're not all picky about fibers & can just go with whatever Wal-Mart has. So I ended up making half a dozen or so scarves for family members and then I used the scraps and made a crazy granny-square afghan for DinoBoy (& I found 3 skeins of this really soft variegated yarn in beachy colors that I used to make a single giant granny square afghan for VelcroBoy, in the hopes that it will eventually replace his disintegrating blankie he's had for the last 7-ish years). & then two friends requested their own blankets. I'm working on them, slowly. One is Very Nearly Finished. She wanted navy & white & I found this pattern for a square that has a star in the center, and the finished afghan is going to be 14 x 14 squares (that's 196 squares, total; I did the math) & I've been joining the squares into rows as I go, then I'll join the rows together & do a border to finish. Currently I have 9 joined rows and 2 rows that need to be joined and I'm starting in on making the center stars for row #11.

I am getting super overwhelmed, though. It's just such a big project and I started back in, like, February or March. Sometimes I want to just bundle it all up and throw it in the river for the gators!

So what I've decided to do is make smaller projects -- like scarves & hats & tiny amigurumi stuffed critters -- for the occasional small break & probably Christmas presents. Plus they'll let me try out new techniques and stitches that I'm not as familiar with, and perfect my gauge & tension & whatnot. First up is an infinity scarf in a sort-of-almost Dallas Stars green.

If you want something small, let me know -- what colors do you like? Do you like traditional scarves? A bulkier cowl? a delicate infinity scarf? Something sort of in between or hooded? a hat? a duckling?

Chances are good that if you toss out a couple of ideas you may well end up with something around Christmas. Or before. Or after, depending.

Also, I have a hairpin lace loom and a couple of tatting shuttles that I'm looking forward to learning to work with. One of these days I'm going to take pictures & when I do I'll post them!

True Confessions of a SAHM on the verge of a job interview...

OK, I think it's been established at some point that I've been kind of looking (admittedly perhaps a bit less whole-heartedly than I should) for a job. Just, you know. Life happens, and right now we really need the financial boost. To help with this, my parents took my kids for the summer. My MIL died a couple of weeks ago so DH had to take an entire week with no work -- and thus no pay -- so we could go up there for that, and now he's off to NC for two weeks for Reserve training (again, no pay from his regular job, and no telling if when we get his Reserve pay it will make up for the two weeks of nothing).

I've been stressing over a resume, because really the idea of working at Wal-Mart or a grocery store or some other large-chain retail/fast food job is Too Depressing For Words and I'd be competing with a ton of kids looking for summer jobs in between school years, and... yeah. So. Resume that hopefully makes me look like a competent hire-able adult despite a looooong stretch (nearly a  dozen years!) of No Actual Paycheck.

But it seems to have paid off; I got a call from a Real Estate Agency wanting someone to do clerical/support type stuff. They had me do a personality test on the internet, decided from that to call me in for some skills tests. I'm fairly confident on the math part (although I do not enjoy math) but I'm worried that my typing skills will not cut it. I know they're a little rusty these days. I'm confident that, once I'm using them again regularly, they'll shine right back up, but... well, getting the chance to shine 'em is going to be the hard part. On the plus side, I'm not planning on leaving any time soon (although if they'll send me back to school to learn office-manager-y stuff, I would love that) so that might be a plus. (And, yeah, I'm trying to type this as quickly & mistake-free as I can.)

Anyway, I've been ruminating a bit on things like whether or not, beyond the financial necessity, I actually *want* a job -- more specifically, if I actually want *this* job -- and I think... I think, yeah, I do.

It sounds like it's going to be a challenge, stretch mental muscles I haven't had to use in a long time, and I'll be frank. With few exceptions relating to mostly craft projects (UGH Gifted Program), I haven't had to challenge myself much over the last few years. I mean, not that way. My patience, yes. My voice, MY GOD YES. But my brain? There are the random philosophical questions from DinoBoy and VelcroBoy, but they don't so much challenge me to *think* as they challenge me to try to figure out how to explain these complex ideas to them in fairly simplistic terms, while not completely ruling out for them the idea that there *is* complexity to them that they can continue to discover. If that makes sense.

And keeping house is not challenging. It gets physically challenging when I decided to take on heavy, moving-furniture-and-all-the-things, down-on-my-knees-scrubbing type cleaning, but it's even then still very rote. Plus it's hampered by the fact that I don't CARE, I don't need my house to look like a magazine spread. I need it to look like anyone can walk in, grab a book & a blanket, and settle down on the sofa, and they'll have a cat on their lap and a dog at their feet before the blanket is on and the book is open (they probably won't; my cats are weird about laps). I want my house to look like half a dozen kids can come tromping through with a metric ton of sports equipment, half of which I don't know the name for, and I won't freak out about "Oh My GOD WHAT are you doing to my FLOOR!?" Also, I want my kids to be able to function as adults and know how to clean up various different kinds of messes and as far as I can see, the best way to let them learn that is to let them do it themselves. Which means I have to take a back seat on some stuff and let them take on more and more chores.

It's been disconcerting being just me at home here lately (even when hubby's home, it's for very short periods of time & I haven't actually cooked much because I'm not sure how to cook for anything less than half an army), but having to do All The Things all by myself has just kind of reinforced how much I don't enjoy these things that seem to be part and parcel of the SAHP life.

If -- no, WHEN -- I get this job, I may use some of my earnings to hire someone to come clean for me.

Gah... I feel like I'm always apologizing to my blog...

It's just...been so random lately. Without internet at home, I don't always think to actually write up blog posts (although they percolate through my brain nearly constantly. Of course, if I leave them there, they disappear completely when the next Idea traipses through...). And of course there's been a million and one other things happening to put this on hold, as it were -- we're nearly at the end of the school year and I'm looking for a part time job to help defray expenses because we had to start getting health insurance through DH's work because he's having some health issues, and he's probably going to have to get out of the reserves. And how me working is going to work with the kids being home, I do NOT know; I'm a bit stressed about that, TBH, but don't really see any alternative. DH's mom is having some pretty massive health issues; there's question as to whether or not she's going to be with us much longer, and that, of course, has plunged part of the family into dramadramadrama in addition to their usual... let's be honest, compared to my family, who are weird and random and dramatic, DH's family is full of so many Drama Llamas, I'm just exhausted by it all.

On the Up Side, I'm learning how to use Jutoh to turn a Word document into various other types of downloadable ebooks for self-publishing. I've got the basics down; now I'm just playing with specific special things. Maybe I can leverage that into something that brings some actual money in (at least enough to get internet back?) so I'm kind of excited about that. And I want to go back to school in the fall. Not sure it's actually going to happen, honestly; I've put off getting information for some of it for so long, and it just might not work timing-wise, if I'm trying to work while the kids are in school come fall. But you never know. I can try, still.

However, our beloved Pittsburgh Penguins are doing this thing where they were playing *awesome* and had a 3-1 lead over the Rangers in their current playoff series and then they... I don't know. Anyway, they lost 2 games in a row. It's hard to tell exactly how they fell apart when you're doing all your "watching" via Twitter updates. Anyway, they have a game tomorrow. If they manage to somehow pull themselves up by the bootstraps and win, they go on to the semifinals where they'll be playing either the Boston Bruins or the Montreal Canadiens; otherwise, the NYRangers go on... So, keeping my fingers crossed.

And now... to fill out some applications online and see if I can write a resume that's good enough, with virtually no real-life work experience, and all of that happening 10+ years ago, to get me a job that's neither Wal-Mart or fast food. I've done that before and nearly anything is preferable...

Here we go again...

Sometimes I just get so caught up in the rollercoaster that is frequently my life that I forget to take a few minutes to myself to just stop and breathe.

Of course, sometimes, I have the actual *time* to stop and breathe, but I'm afraid if I do I won't be able to restart, or I'll drop one of the carefully juggled balls, or I'll just...give up. Which is kind of the same as not restarting, or at least very similar.

I'm caught between loving my life and hating it a little, and I feel torn and guilty. I am trying really very hard to not hold myself to standards that are not actually my own.

I don't know; maybe I'm overthinking. Probably. The problem with my particular rollercoaster is that it doesn't exactly require a lot of brainpower. The stuff I love, the stuff I hate -- it's all stuff that keeps my body occupied but doesn't exactly engage the mind all that much.

I've thought about trying to take random classes, just, you know, stuff I'm interested in but aren't necessarily part of some big Plan for My Life, but...that kind of thing just isn't available here in town, and between kids and travel time and gas prices, I can't go elsewhere looking for it. Maybe I need to set some local goals, like retraining myself to read a little more critically, or less for enjoyment (some stuff, at least). And, I don't know... maybe some other stuff? volunteer work? I have so many things running through my brain sometimes, and none of them ever quite seem to click with me.

I'm feeling a bit like Charlie Brown right about now: "'Nothing lasts forever, All good things must end.' I've memorized that phrase by heart. So, tell me, I need to know it... When do the good things start?" (Only, yeah, I've had some good things. But this particular moment in time is kinda short on them.)

DH & I are still talking about moving to Pittsburgh within the next couple of years. I am so beyond ready for that.

Sieve-for-Brains

I actually had something I wanted to say on here.

I can't remember it now...




Anyway, mostly I've been doing my thing (looking at pictures & gifs & videos of primarily hockey players) on tumblr.

I'm not making much progress in doing things that need doing; I need to start setting timers even more than alarms, I think. & maybe when we have medical insurance again, I should see about figuring out what the hell it is that keeps me so tired & unmotivated all the time. It's kinda getting old; I'm done with feeling mentally foggy all the time.

I'm trying to get back into the habit of yoga every day. I may have to start letting the kids practice with me; otherwise I won't have time till midnight every night (starting Friday they have a WHOLE WEEK off school, then they only have about 3-4 more weeks before the super-long winter break (which is at least a month long).

I dunno, it feels like I had something of substance to say, but I can't think what it is, still.

Laundry and reading...

I have been remiss....

... I have been letting this blog languish. In my defense, there's been a lot going on. One of these days I may update on that. For right now, I'll just say I've been spending a lot of time on Tumblr loving hockey. & on the rare occasion I have a thought that requires more than 140 characters, it's generally not that long & it's easier just to slam it out really quickly on Tumblr.

But I will figure something out & get back to this, I promise! For the whole, what, 3 of you reading?

Gender Roles in my Life

I just read an interesting blog entry on gender propaganda in toy stores, not the first such article I've read, but this one really got me to think a bit more than usual about specifics of gender roles as they're presented to kids and even adults, and how they actually play out in my life. The bit that got me thinking was the last couple of sentences of the first paragraph: "The underlying point all the irrational statements have in common is one foundational core that its advocates desperately want to “protect”.  That point is that men and women hold mutually exclusive roles in the family and neither of those roles can or should be filled by a member of the opposite gender."

So, I started thinking about those roles that are seen as "typically male" or "typically female," and while I don't consider myself either particularly feminine or particularly "tomboyish" (the only acceptable descriptive word for an ostensibly straight, non-girly female, apparently), I will admit that in plenty of ways, I fit more of a "typically female" role in my life.

Typically (or really, stereotypically) "female" stuff I do:
 -cook
-clean
-pop out kids
-read
-watch romantic comedies (i.e., "chick flicks")
-wear bras & occasionally skirts
-paint my toenails
-oversee homework 
-shop

Stereotypically "male" stuff I don't do:
-mow the yard
-vehicle maintenance
-grilling
-play video games
-watch horror movies

The thing is, the things I do, we have very good reasons for why I do them. I am the one who is home regularly and frequently, so I get to be in charge of the everyday things. Considering DH is on the road driving a truck for 5-12 days at a time, it would be very difficult for him to actually cook, clean, shop, or oversee homework on a regular basis. There is NO OTHER REASON why he could not, were he equally geographically present, take over any of these chores. And the things I don't do? Well, I have to do all the day-to-day stuff, so we discussed it and decided that the occasional stuff, like lawn care and vehicle maintenance, were going to be his prerogative. He grills because he wants to, but he can also cook on the stove, and he in fact enjoys doing so every once in a while to give me a break. As for the video games and movies? Well, I'm just not coordinated enough for video games, and I don't enjoy horror movies, so why would I want to watch them? 

But let's really look at those lists, shall we? Aside from popping out kids, there is NOTHING on either of those lists that a man couldn't do as well as a woman, or vice versa. And let's be honest. We all know plenty of women who've given birth but are the farthest thing from a loving, competent parent. Some of them are even smart enough to admit it, and don't try to parent their children; others leave their kids permanently damaged because they've bought in to this ideology that as women, we're inherently ideal parents.

I know plenty of men who love to cook, maintain FAR cleaner households than mine, enjoy shopping far more than I do (I'm really not very good at browsing anywhere but kitchen stores and book stores), and probably enjoy skirts, bras, and nail polish more than I. My husband has even been known to laugh at a rom-com with me, because humor and love are not exclusive to the X chromosome.

As for the "male" stuff -- I know women who are better at car stuff than my husband (he's pretty decent but he's not a mechanic and he's ok with that). I know women who love to grill, women who enjoy mowing the yard, and women who play video games and watch horror movies. The only thing my husband has done that none of them would be able to do is produce sperm with which to get me pregnant.

I have tried not to confine my kids by gender roles in their play or their chores. If the boys choose to play with dinosaurs or trucks, and my daughter prefers Barbies, that's what they like. They all have access to the same toys, the same sports equipment, the same games and movies. My boys dust shelves, read books almost obsessively, fold laundry, sweep floors. My daughter picks up sticks from the yard so Daddy can mow. She goes hunting and fishing. 

The only "gender roles" that are predetermined by the body are reproductive, and there are ways around that. There are ways beyond adoption for a couple -- or an individual -- to have a baby without one of them getting pregnant, or donating sperm, or even having sex at all with another person. There are people who choose not to do so, for medical or personal reasons, or just because it never happens. There are ways to prevent it happening at all (of course, this is Frowned Upon by those same people who are so desperately trying to fit us into gender roles). 

The harder we try to force ourselves or others into ill-fitting boxes, the more we try to shoehorn into a prepackaged "acceptable normality," the harder it is to make them fit. The world has so many new opportunities, and the only ones putting "Boy" and "Girl" labels on them are ourselves -- a mountain doesn't care if the person standing at the top is XX or XY or any of the possible variants, or even if you identify with your particular combination, or whatever. 

Also: a few "Boy Things" that I do better than my husband? Science. Math. And I kill my own spiders.

True Confessions of a SAHM: Glee and me

I know it's a weird time for this. Glee is heading into its...ummm...3rd? 4th? 5th season? Something like that. I don't know. And one of its stars, Corey Monteith, OD'd a couple of months ago.

But for some reason I started watching the first season the other day (thanks, I think, Amazon?)

I am HATING myself for this. Not because I'm not a soap opera type, but just because it's, frankly, obnoxious.

The only characters I feel any ability to sympathize with are Sue Sylvester's sister, Kurt's dad, and Finn's mom.

That's it.

The others are ALL irritating. I didn't have time for people like that when I was in high school.

The worst part is that the final episode of the season is the only one in which any of the characters seem to have shown any actual genuine character growth, and from having caught bits and pieces of other seasons, I really think it's NOT actually genuine.

UGH.

Just... UGH.

Anyway... the reason I'm watching?

The music. I love so much of the music. Except for Gaga & Madonna (but I kind of like Madonna, a little, at least her earlier stuff).

So, there you have it. Crap show, great music. I like the lessons they're trying to impart, but... I don't really think they're actually *doing* it. I really don't.

Just sayin'.

Series review: Campus Cravings by Carol Lynne

I have had a really HUGELY hard time with figuring out things like how to rate these books, individually and as a series, and how to explain that. It seems like the people I actually know who have read them loved them, and I know that Carol is kind of a Mover and a Shaker in the M/M Romance community, but at the same time... I just had so many *issues* with these books!

I will be honest that some of the problems no doubt came from the fact that I pretty much read almost the entire series all at once over the course of about 3-4 days. There are 17 stories in the series; I lack only the last two. I have acquired them slowly over the course of a couple of years and read them originally as I acquired them, without going back to reread the series first. So things that would have been less problematic for me individually wore on me when they were coming at me en masse.

So... On Goodreads, I rated all the books at 3 stars, which is my "problematic" rating (I'm going to link back here from the first book, Coach, rather than post an individual review for each book, because I don't want to write that many reviews. We'll just consolidate All The Things right here.) "Problematic" rating, for me, means that there was enough that I loved about the book that I'm liable to want to read it again some time (in this case, it's a fluffy-light reread; they're all novella-ish/longer short story length) but it had enough issues that pulled me out of the story to keep me from being able to whole-heartedly give it a better rating. And to be clear, probably 85% of my issues were things that could've been easily cleared up by a half-way competent editor -- they were in no way related to plot/characterization/general storytelling ability. So really, I guess 85% of this is "Really? I thought this was supposed to be a Professionally Published story!"

So, let's get right to it. As I frequently do, I'm going to bullet list a lot of stuff of the "This Really Bugged Me" variety.

• A lot of the formatting was crazy-frustrating. There were times where POV or time of day or whatever would change, and there would just be no indication. No breaks, just maybe a new paragraph; meanwhile, there would be an entire blank expanse with nothing but the book title (a complete page, according to my reader) between chapters. It would definitely pull me out of the story.
• LOTS of misused apostrophes -- "the kid's are coming over," "the car's were zooming past," and the like (not actual examples, just the *kind* of misuse). Or places where they should have been but weren't -- "That is Coaches car," "the cat's drank Georges milk." (Again, not actually from the books.)
• Homophone abuse, particularly and frequently your/you're -- "Are you going to finish you're dinner? Your going to be late."
• Some more random "Spell-check Has Issues" words: shoe-in (shoo-in), shear ecstasy (sheer ecstasy), "the damn just broke" (dam), passed/past, desert/dessert, throws/throes (direct quote-ish -- several times characters were in the "throws of ecstasy." Just No.)
• File under "How long has it been since you were in college?" -- when a character who is a student is having a Final Exam during a regular class period. Not just "was lucky enough to get an exam period scheduled for the normal start time of that class," but actually a Regular Class Period. And we're talking the kind of test that should probably take a fair bit of time more than the 35 min the character took to finish -- there should have been several essay questions, at least; it's That Sort of Class. I mean, FINAL Exam. Not midterm. FINAL. There should be a LOT of ground to cover.
• Continuity Is A Thing: Char is in a car accident. Love interest witnesses; has to pry open passenger side door to get to Char b/c driver's side door is a mangled wreck. Later, at hospital, someone (who was at the scene) says something along the lines of "Well, these kinds of injuries happen when you're thrown from a vehicle." 
• Continuity Is A Thing 2: in one book, a char describes his parents as "Mom is black, but Dad is white." In another book, he says "Both my parents are black." Granted, he's blind, & of mixed ethnicity, but still...Author As God needs him to think he's African-American, therefore we must ignore previous statement.
• Things I just Can't Explain: Blind character is reading brail. My spell-check doesn't even accept that as a word. It is Braille. With the capital letter. Every time. Because it is a proper noun.
• Random punctuation issues: Sentences that sound like questions punctuated with periods. (What, do you have some sort of quota you're not allowed to exceed?) Ditto with commas; they're in random places where they shouldn't be and aren't in places where they should. I'm a little extra-aware of that right now, because my kids are back in school and they're bringing home their language arts homework and the third-grader is learning all about proper sentence structure. And, frankly, most of the sentences in these books would fail ALL THE THINGS in my third-grader's text book.
• I get that the publisher (Total E-Bound) is based in the UK, but... as much as British authors (rightly) complain about having their British-set books "Americanized" in spelling/slang, the reverse holds true in some ways with this series -- words like centre, paycheque, & others litter it, throwing me off since the books are all set in freaking IDAHO. 
• Lack of female characters -- to me, it seems VERY odd that a series of stories mostly set on a college campus would have only roughly a half-dozen female characters. Of those, only a handful appear actually "on-screen," as it were, and of those, one is wholly unsympathetic, one is rather disappointingly weak in her personal narcissism, one is literally not completely sane, and one is a quintessential, almost stereotypical "Mother" type.

Let's try to end this on an up note: 

• Despite the shortness of these stories, they had clearly defined beginnings, middles, and ends, so that, even if a conflict wasn't completely resolved, it was clearly well on its way (although there were a couple that I felt ended prematurely in a way that felt like the author had reached Maximum Word Count and had to cram in the last little bit).
• There were some satisfyingly realistic "Life Issues" to cope with -- several characters entered into some fairly serious therapy to deal with their pasts, there's blindness, one major character has a stroke & has some fairly bad reactions to being confined to a wheelchair -- and not too much (but some) Magic Sex Cure-All.
• Characters didn't just pop up out of nowhere right before they got their story, then disappear completely afterward. There's a nice over-arcing story of a group of friends and coworkers, and they grow organically to welcome in new members, and to keep the friendships growing and developing.
• Even though many of the characters are jocks, there's a whole range of characters -- it's not just All White-Boy Football Players, All The Time. There's a certain amount of racial/ethnic diversity. Not a lot, perhaps not as much as there could have been, but there is some. There are also guys with other ambitions besides sports. 

I really did, overall, enjoy the stories and the characters, enough that I may someday buy the last two books in the series. I think it's a shame that Total E-Bound didn't seem to take enough pride in their product to make sure that it would at least pass a third-grade text book test, though. However, that's a quibble against the publisher, not the author.

True Confessions of a SAHM: My Youngest and ADD

I'll be honest here: I've just about researched myself out on this subject, but what's problematic for me right now is the school system. My youngest is 8, and last year he was diagnosed officially with ADD. He doesn't have the Hyperactivity part that is so often associated, and he seems (according to the doctor who diagnosed him, for whatever that's worth) to only have a mild case. And the only meds she could offer me are designed to treat the hyperactivity part of the equation, so for now we're trying to go the non-medicated route.

There are SO MANY PROBLEMS with this, that I'm torn about whether or not this is the right choice to make. The two big problems at the root of it all are school and therapy.

There are maybe four therapists locally who treat kids w/ ADHD who accept our insurance. NONE of them are able to help us. I have called all of them, and talked to them, and visited them, and all of them say they have no therapies that might help VelcroBoy's focus, but they have lots of things they can do for hyperactivity, but ONLY if he's on meds for it. But why would he be on meds or therapy for hyperactivity when he's not hyperactive?

As for the school... Well, let's start with the teachers. Every year, I have had a discussion with his teacher before the start of the school year. This year it was very simple. "VelcroBoy was diagnosed with ADD last year. He doesn't have the hyperactivity portion, just the attention deficit. He is not currently on meds (with the explanation of the bit about WHY he's not on meds)." I explain a bit about problems he's had in classrooms in the past, problems we have at home with homework, a few strategies that have helped in the past. Teacher says, "OK, I've had ADHD kids in my classroom before; we'll work together and it'll be fine." Less than a full week into the school year and the teacher is somehow baffled by my kid exhibiting the EXACT SAME ISSUES I explained to her about! Really, did you think I was making it up? Exaggerating? WHAT? Yes, I'm a SAHM. No, I'm not an idiot. I am capable of evaluating my kid's issues and warning you and YOU are the one who chose to ignore what I had to say.

As for the school as a whole... the best they have to offer, given budget restraints, is that they might be able to come up with a paraprofessional to work with him one-on-one for about 20 minutes a day. Which might, maybe, be enough to get him through ONE classroom assignment per day. But other than that, they don't really have any resources or budget for anything else. And the rest of the local system is in just as "dire straits." The nearest private school is a church school that doesn't have a good reputation academically, and the nearest school that might possibly help him is in Savannah. Which I can't exactly afford -- even if, by some accident of God, it were possible to get him fully scholarshiped, I couldn't afford the gas to drive there and back, plus the after school care DinoBoy would need.

Anyway, I know that medication seems to really help some kids -- and their parents. I'm not judging anybody who chooses that route; we all have to make the decision that works for us. I just don't think it's the appropriate response for my kid. But I'm also feeling like I'm being steamrollered into it by the sheer lack of any other option available to me.

And it doesn't help that every time VelcroBoy has to do something that makes him unhappy, and nearly everything that is not what he wants to do makes him unhappy, he develops a mysterious tummyache or headache or other minor ailment that never comes to anything...

*sigh* I don't know. Am I doing the right thing? Is it time to start thinking about medication? Do I need to look harder for therapies? I just feel lost and helpless about this.

I Read a Book Today...

I know, right? The truth is I've read at least a book a day, if not more (if they're short & fluffy) for a long time now. But this one was so.... Yeah.

It really needs a write-up, if only to try desperately to straighten out the confusion in my head. Several sessions of fine-tooth-combing the sections involved didn't help clear up a few timeline issues I was having. And the worst part? The first time I read this was several years ago, so this is an older reread for me. I don't remember noticing these problems the first time through. I must have changed and grown or something...

Anyway, the book:

Causing Havoc by Lori Foster

Blurb (from author's website): Sexy, sculpted extreme fighter Dean “Havoc” Connor has knee-melting good looks-and thick skin. But not from his brutal sport’s enclosed rings. Orphaned and torn from his sisters as a boy, he has no family. That is, until he gets a letter revealing how much the once-little girls want him back in Harmony, Kentucky.

To stop his sister from marrying a man as sleazy as he is wealthy, Dean finds himself teaming up with her pretty-but-smart-mouthed friend Eve — who’s heard of “Havoc’s” reputation and doesn’t need some hunk trampling on her heart. Now all Dean has to do is protect his sisters, win Eve over, and expose a devious criminal.

And he thought winning the heavyweight cage fighting belt was hard.

Now, me... and it will be behind a cut, because... Here there be spoilers, yo!

Busy Mama!

With the DH in Miami (still!) it has been a daily struggle to find stuff to keep the kids happy while still getting the house cleaned, and spending the minimum of money. And, y'know. Staying sane myself.

One thing that really really helps is that the boys have a friend who lives just a half a block (y'know, give or take) away. 5 houses to the corner, turn left. Three lots up, turn right. Down 4-ish more houses, and we're there! His dad works from home doing customer service (it's not a dream! But I don't think I would be a good candidate; I'm the type to want to organize sock drawers...) so the kids can pretty much be at either place -- here or there -- & it's all good. They usually choose there, because "there" includes a POOL. Not an in-ground pool, but still a pretty decent one. Apparently, the 2/3 of the Barbarian Horde who go down there are in and out of the pool so much it's not worth the effort to send them with dry clothes. Or towels. & I'm ok with that.

The other thing, that I sadly didn't discover early enough in the summer (I'll know better next year!) is that one of the big theatre chains (I want to say Regal, but I am not absolutely positive) does older movies on Tues/Thurs for $1. I don't have the full list, but this summer they've done all the Harry Potter movies in one auditorium & in another they've had something animated for smaller kids -- we saw Pirates: Band of Misfits last week; this week was Rise of the Guardians, and next week is Hotel Transylvania. It's been fun. Popcorn & drinks are $1.50 each, so we can do the whole theater experience for $4 each. Which, with 3 or 4 kids tagging along, is a HUGE BARGAIN. So.

Rise of the Guardians

Honestly, I thought this was a pretty decent movie. The animation was impressive & I liked the storyline a lot. It wasn't too much for my kids, and I think they took the mild lesson to heart -- belief can be a powerful thing, and fear is a shadow in the face of joy and wonder. Anyway, the very best part was watching my kids' faces as they watched -- VelcroBoy in particular has a very expressive countenance. 

So for now, I'm cleaning because I have a friend who's in the area visiting for a couple of days and, while they probably won't actually come to my house, it's as good an excuse for getting some stuff finally done as any... :D

ADD, Calvin (and Hobbes), Math, Nincompoopery, and Hockey

This is the kind of thing that happens to me when folding laundry with my kids...

VelcroBoy: "I hate folding my clean laundry."

Me: "Me, too. That's why I taught you how to do your own, so I don't have to do it for you."

VB: *sighs* "Mommy?"

Me: "Yep?"

VB: "How do you spell 'nincompoop'?"

Me: "N-I-N-C-O-M-P-O-O-P"

VB: "Ok, I was just checking. Mommy, what's a nincompoop? Is it like Calvin or like Hobbes?"

Me: "Well, it's sort of being ridiculous*, or maybe unreliable."

VB: "So, like Calvin, then. He's always messing up."

Me: "Well, I usually think of it as more unreliable and not able to do stuff. Calvin isn't unable to do stuff, he just gets bored and distracted."

VB: "So, it's kind of like he has ADD, too?!" He sounded so excited, like here was his role model, like it's OK to be distracted, because, HEY! It happens to Calvin, too, and everybody loves Calvin, so he's going to be like Calvin and that's *awesome*!

*note: I just looked up the dictionary definition of nincompoop; it is a "silly, ridiculous, or foolish person."

So we talk a little about his ADD, and how he gets distracted in school, but it doesn't mean that he's stupid or bad or anything like that. I tell him that ALL little kids his age tend to get distracted; ADD just means that it's that much harder for him to get back on track and stay there than it is for some other kids, especially when it's something that he's not interested in, like math, or that's boring, like writing stuff over and over again. Then there's a little talk about whether or not we can someday move to someplace like where Calvin and Hobbes live, with lots of snow and hills and trees, and I have to explain that a) I will never live that far north because I'm anti-snow, and b) about the real estate market and that we can't afford the loss we'd take on the house if we tried to sell it right now. Which prompted this:

VB: "I want a job that makes large money!"

Me: "Ok, so what did you have in mind?"

VB: "I could play hockey! Do hockey players make a lot of money?"

Me: "Well, yeah, kind of, but only if they're really good."

VB: "Then, I want to be as good as Sidney Crosby."

So we have a little talk about how Sidney Crosby has been skating and playing hockey practically as long as he's been able to walk, and VelcroBoy hasn't had that same advantage so he's not likely to be good on quite that same level. Which leads to a cry of "But I don't like MATH!" from VelcroBoy.

Me: "Well, you know, there's other jobs, too. Like, you like to do science stuff; you might want to be a scientist when you're older. And you'll have to know a LOT of math for that. And really, you need math to play hockey, too. You need to use a little math to figure out where the puck is going when you shoot it, and whose path it's going to intersect. And you'll want to be able to make sure that you're getting paid correctly, or that whoever you have taking care of your paycheck is doing their job correctly so you don't get cheated."

VB: "I guess I'll HAVE to learn that kind of math, then." *rolls eyes, sighs* *leaves to take laundry to his room*

Me: "Yup, and to do that, you need to learn what they're teaching you in school right now, too!"

All is quiet for a few moments, then...

VB: "Mommy, what's a paycheck?"

Funny, where their little minds drift off to.

Diversity

I'm not naming names, but someone close to me has been posting stuff about immigration recently on Facebook -- stuff like "Like and Share this picture if you don't want to be forced to learn a second language to accommodate illegal immigrants." You know the stuff I mean, I'm sure.

This saddens me, really a lot for several reasons: first, no one is being "forced" to learn a second language in order to "accommodate" anyone. There are several very good and valid reasons, some of them solely about the way our brains create neural pathways, for learning a second language. We are a member of a global society; not everyone we are ever going to interact with speaks only English or even halfway decent English (although my understanding is that it's becoming more and more common a second language in other countries). And if we were in fact being forced to learn a second language for the sake of others, surely there would be a standard language that was the only second language available to learn (maybe varying regionally?) Not to mention many fields of study's jargons can be almost like having to learn a completely different language (have you ever asked or been asked "Once more, in English this time, please?").

Chinese dragon

SO.

My biggest reason why stuff like this saddens me is that it seems to want to homogenize our nation. Setting aside the question of the legality of the immigrants speaking other languages -- we have no way of knowing, just from looking at someone, if they're legal or not; language is hardly a clue. They may very well be able to speak and understand English but choose not to on what they consider home ground, or may have trouble with it for one reason or another.

One of the things I find most fascinating and compelling about the United States is all the little pockets of foreign culture that pockmark the country. You can, in some cases, literally cross a street and be immersed in a completely different way of life: different styles of architecture and decoration, dress, food...and language is a vital and integral part of that. How much less magical would Chinatown be if all the shopkeepers and passersby and customers spoke in unaccented, textbook, workaday American English? What nuances would be lost?

Taste of Greece 2012 -- Chicago (from: Greektown Chicago)

This country was built, as it is now, on immigration, and for many many years there were few if any restrictions. The people who came here came searching for something that was not available to them in their home countries: freedom to make their own choices, freedom from religious persecution, jobs...are we now to turn others away from the search for those same things? I get that we can't support the entire world. There are people here who are still looking for work, who are persecuted for their religious beliefs, even, ironically, those who use their religious beliefs as grounds to persecute others. And there were people harmed -- harmed DEEPLY -- by the way European settlers went about creating nations on these continents. We're not perfect. But it seems to me hypocritical in the extreme to on one hand proclaim what a great country we are, and on the other, attempt to deny all the things which made us.

Irish step dancers (from Savannah Irish Festival)

More thinking-out-loud about girly parts and sexual content of books and what doesn't bother me.

We seem to have a new kerfuffle which is really just an old kerfuffle revisited around the community in which I read and interact. We'll just call it the OMGLADYBITS!! problem and move on from there.

I'm just going to make a brief rebuttal of some things that were said on a site which shall be nameless (if for some reason you don't know but want to, email or something and I'll tell you but you will probably be all head-asplodey) and which I have since removed from my blog feed because really? I don't need that shit in my life right now, and anyway, as a review site it was becoming less and less relevant to my actual INTERESTS, y'know, because of how books that I thought sucked donkeywater were given highest accolades and books that I thought were funny/cute/interesting/otherwise pushed some boundaries in an opening-up-the-mind kind of way were dismissed as lame/trite/blah/whatthefuckever.

ANYway.

I read. I read a LOT of stuff, yeah, some "Literary Fiction" and some nonfiction, and mystery and science fiction and fantasy and and and... yeah. Most of what I read, though, is romance. Or one of the other things with strong romantic elements.

People like to put things in boxes.

Boxes are OK, sometimes. I mean, I like to have a box (basket, drawer, whatevs) to keep my cheeses separate from my eggs separate from my condiments in my fridge. I have a nice little box in the pantry which I keep full of approved snack items for my kids where they can reach, and I have another nice little box out of their reach where I keep the "Only Occasionally" treats. I have a box for the kitty litter, because, let's be honest, you *don't* want that just spreading out all over the floor.

You know what I don't put in boxes? Books.

Piles, yes. Shelves, naturally. Randomly stuck down the side of the couch so I can pick it right back up in the morning? Oh, HELLS yeah. Boxes, though? Not so much. Only when we're moving. Or I'm mailing them to someone. For a while, I kept some in a box under my bed, but then I decided I wasn't ashamed of it, I just didn't want my 7YO boy reading b/c Holy Inappropriate, Batman! So I put all that stuff on the bottom shelf of the bookcase in my bedroom where no one but my mom and my sister ever look, and they're grown-ups and if they go poking and get shocked, SO NOT MY PROBLEM.

Also, do you know what paper books don't have that a lot of ebooks (especially from small presses) do? Warning labels. To me, that's like the Darwin Awards-worthy labels on push mowers warning the user not to pick it up & try to use it to trim the hedges. I mean, really. They should all say "Warning: Thoughts Ahead. Make Sure Mind Open, Or Put Down NOW."

So, when I read romance, I don't go into it with any expectations, beyond the expectations of a minimum of typos. And that I will be entertained (unless I'm reading for some reason other than entertainment. Even then, entertainment is a plus). And if I'm reading a romance written within the last 20 or so years, I do generally expect sex. Particularly if it's an erotic romance, when I expect LOTS of sex. Hopefully well-written sex, but I will settle for cliche and throbbing parts and excessive dampness. The point is, though, I don't look for a particular TYPE of sex. I'll take girl parts, boy parts, alien parts... in whatever combinations and numbers. I've never been "blindsided" by menages, or het sex in a gay romance, or gay/lesbian/trans* sex in a het romance. In fact, one of the reasons I gravitated AWAY from het romance is that it has been feeling too confining. There's a formula for sex, and a formula for characters, and a formula for story. I hoped by moving over toward more of a LGBTQ-friendly reading space, I would come across different types of relationships, characters who didn't fall into the same old stereotypes, new takes on old tropes...

For the most part, I've found that. There's been less of the -LBTQ than of the G-, granted, but I'm digging a little deeper and seeing more. I'm seeing more interracial romances, some May-Decembers where the balance of power is a bit different. I'm even seeing more babies -- with fewer Plot Moppets, although still plenty of those -- which I love (side note: I've seen some people despairing that some of their favorite series are moving toward the baby-crazy, despite being m/m pairings. I'm all like, YES PLEASE MORE OF THAT! because you don't have to be ovaried to believe "Families should grow, not shrink." (quote from Strawberries for Dessert by the lovely Marie Sexton).

So, dear authors who might accidentally read this, Give me girly bits along with the man-sex! I'll read it! The only place I demand to know what to expect sexually is the space where I'm sharing said sexual content with my very own husband in our very own bed. I don't object to warnings about dubious consent because my enjoyment of that is dubious, at best, but I also don't refuse to read it. And I only DNF if I can't actually connect with characters or plot -- some of those stories would probably have been improved by more sex! Give me variety! Give me interesting people doing interesting things! (It doesn't have to be save-the-world interesting; I'm a homebody, so domestic weirdness interests me.)

And, hey, if I ever run across ACTUAL heterosexual intercourse in a romance with gay male protagonists, maybe I'll be shocked enough to actually review it!

This is me just running my mind, so bear with...

I think the biggest political issue, in the US, right now is what we might call the "threat to the status quo." For many, many years the people making all the decisions were men of similar educational/religious/financial background, with similar values and desires, and they were mostly legislating from those values and desires, without considering the values and desires of others (because, let's be honest, we only really notice other people's when they come into conflict with our own, and if the other person has no power behind them, they don't come into conflict with us.)

So we've got the Old White Guy majority in the political arena, and all of a sudden people of different background start Getting Ideas!

Women's Rights!

Segregation!

Now it's voting and immigration and gays, all at once, and the Old White Guys have been bleeding from a million tiny cuts and they're determined to hang on to their political majority (even if it's largely contrived and they're clinging by their fingernails to the edge of the cliff). They're losing, and they know they're losing, but they're not ready to lose yet, so as more cuts come, they are trying to close up some of the old ones.

That's why abortion and reproductive issues are back in the spotlight, and why every legislative "focus group" is comprised of older men with a religious background that opposes anything that puts a hold on procreation.

In the backs of their minds, they're thinking "We gave you this, and we thought we were done with you and now you're back, wanting MORE, so in return you're going to have to give this back to us."

It may take us a few more years yet, but eventually, it will become apparent that there are more of US than there are of THEM, and even some of them are becoming disillusioned. Once you've seen the vocal minority as a group of people, with thoughts and feelings and opinions, it's difficult to unsee that. I think the problem I have with the Old White Guys is that they tend to look at women, children -- really, anyone Not Like Them -- as intellectually like a sort of superior (by which I mean "with opposable thumbs and therefor capable of following more sophisticated direction) domesticated animal, rather than as individuals with the ability to reason and consider and question and, y'know, have Free Will (but that's a rant for another place and time, honestly). 

Which is why I think homophobia IS, in fact, a fear -- a ridiculous one, perhaps, but not necessarily unreasonable. The Rainbow Flag (and all its allies) stand to acquire a fair amount of power, and when they do, they will be prying it from the hands of the Old White Guys who just want to maintain the status quo. And once they lose that power, it's GONE, and many of them will have nothing left, because if they can't have political power, what's the rest of it all FOR, after all...

Giant....sex?

Oh, dear. It's just no good.

I'm in the middle of a reread of the Harry Potter books (including a rewatch of all the movies) because DinoBoy (the 9YO) started reading them, and...

Well, I mean, I *knew* Hagrid was half-Giant, since the first time I read...whichever book it was. Goblet of Fire? Anyway...

It's just that now, for some reason, it's occurred to me to actually, y'know... think about that. You know. Giant sex. Or, rather, HALF Giant sex.

Or, well, to be completely accurate, Human + Giant sex.

So, yeah.

Giants are, on average, in the Potter-verse, around 20 feet tall, right? And the average human between 5'6" and 6', depending on whether they're male or female, which is still, at best, just over 1/3 the size.

SO, yeah.

I mean, the idea of a human male with a Giant female is a bit... well. Rather like a terrier humping a Rottweiler, honestly.

However, a male Giant with whatever human? What kind of a size queen would you have to BE???

(So, yeah, apparently my imagination is even more twisted than *I* gave it credit for being.

Also, I am NOT going to Google Giant sex. I am not, I am not, I am NOT!)