wow, it's been a while, huh?

SOoooo, looks like it's been more than half a decade since I last made use of this blog. I have absolutely been reading and crocheting quite a bit in that time, but I have also gotten a job & had a kid graduate high school (and both my younger kids *start* high school) in that time, so there hasn't really been much time to even think, much less type out what I'm thinking. And, of course, some of what's been happening in the ol' noggin are... sensitive topics which I don't want certain people who Actually Know Me in Real Life stumbling across.

Anyway, today's round of introspection comes from a couple of Twitter-y things that I've been interactive with today. One of those was about acts of kindness in a grocery line, prompting me to talk about how, when I was working the front registers at my store (I'm in the pharmacy now, working on becoming a pharmacy technician), I would keep a handful of mostly my own change at my register so that when people would come through with a WIC check for $8 of produce, and they would go over that amount by a bit, I could just say, "It's ok. Someone earlier didn't want their coin change, so I've got enough here to cover you." Obviously  I couldn't cover large amounts, but like a quarter or so? We don't need to start taking out individual grapes or a banana just so you can finish up your shopping. Anyway, that sparked a conversation where I talked a little bit about having been on WIC myself when my kids were small and we were a military family, and how much the summer Farmer's Market vouchers meant for us in terms of helping my kids eat well. Which turned into how the Army post near me is sending a lot of people to my pharmacy recently because they *cannot afford* to restock meds -- maintenance meds, like blood pressure, cholesterol, oral diabetics -- and these people are being hit with an unexpected expense in the form of copays.

The other Tweet was someone asking about a memorable Christmas present from your childhood. For me, that was a hot pink AM/FM radio, about the size of a Walkman cassette player, when I was about 7 (so, late mid-80s). I wandered around the neighborhood with that thing *constantly* on. It was the first time I had any semblance of control over what music I listened to, and I loved it. I listened mostly to a "Greatest Hits of the 60s, 70s, and today" station -- at home, my mom listened to a fair bit of the same music, but also a lot of more folk-y, protest-y music (which I still love). My dad's parents were pretty much all Grand Ole Opry, All the Time (which, again, I still love) and my mom's parents were... well, my granddad was career Army, and he grew up in the bayous of Louisiana, speaking French before he spoke English. There was a lot of zydeco, but he also loved some folk/anti-war stuff, the Everly Brothers... it was a really weird mix, honestly, and I remember him singing "Where Have All the Flowers Gone" really clearly. But then, he also loved to put on old Big Band records and put a granddaughter on his feet (there were half a dozen of us girls) and dance us all around the basement -- so if you ever wonder about my love for those old classics, as well as the way current artists like the Puppini Sisters and PostModern Jukebox are reinventing the style, well, it's that. My grandmother, on the other hand, grew up dirt poor in town, and had a sort of social-climbing mindset that she couldn't help (very Hyacinth Bouquet, if you're familiar with British comedies) and she would only play church hymns and Classical music.

Anyway, the take-away here is that I have very weird and wonderfully varied taste in music, but aside from a round handful of exceptions, I haven't been exposed to a whole lot of new music since the mid-90s, and most of what I have heard is variations on an older theme -- some very Irish-folk-inspired rock, the aforementioned PMJ & Puppini Sisters, etc. Maybe one day I'll do a rec list of some of the stuff I'm really listening to these days. It'll be fun!

And somehow all of that led me to this blog, and to books, and my reading. I have a very weird, messy TBR, consisting of paper and digital books that I own  but haven't read yet, wishlists across various sites, a couple of actual, physically written/typed lists, and a folder of pictures of books that looked interesting but I couldn't buy right then for whatever reason. Oh, and a Goodreads Want to Read shelf. Unfortunately I'm not actually really reading new books right now. There's a text post I saw on Tumblr not too long ago about not having the emotional wherewithal to deal with learning to love new characters and get familiar with a new world. And honestly, that's me. I've been doing a bit of rereading (although obviously not blogging about it, which I really should consider), and reading a lot of fanfic.

I don't really like to talk about my fanfic reading, though. Not because of any sort of shame, or not wanting to share my reading kinks, or whatever, but because of the sense of anonymity of not really knowing if the person whose words I'm reading is also someone that I know or could know in real life. I know there are some authors I read & follow on social media who write fanfic, but I don't know if they write in a fandom I read, or what their pseuds are, and the fanfic authors I follow, I don't really know anything about their lives outside of their fandoms.

The thing for me is, reading an author's public work, that I have paid actual real money for, gives me the right to express my feelings about it. There are certain standards in craft & editing that are reasonable to expect from a professionally published book, and no expectation that they are going to go back and "fix" whatever I find wrong with the book, and if there are major issues with characterization, or plot holes that bug the hell out of me, or subpar editing that someone paid for, I have the right to point that out so that if there's someone out there who might want to know those things can find it out before they decide if they want to fork out the money to own/read that book. It's one of the things I look for if I'm on the fence about a book or author or even publisher -- is it well edited, or well written enough to gloss over a lack of editing? Whatever in the blurb caught my attention, did the author do it justice, or was it just a tease? Is it actually more nuanced than that half-page description can convey? Does it mess up tropes I love or turn tropes I hate on their ear?

With fanfic, I feel more gentle, nurturing. A lot of fanfic writers are quite young, or are writing in English as, well, not their first language. A Beta reader is often someone equally young or non-English speaking, or simply someone who doesn't actually read for fun, but needs something from the media they love that it's not giving them, so they turn to fanfic to find that missing bit. And I don't think "constructive criticism" is really particularly constructive, especially once something has been posted. If I could, I would Beta everything in my fandoms, and maybe that would make them better, or maybe it would only make them better FOR ME, but I don't have the time, and I'm not living with the conviction that I and only I am capable of deciding what is and is not right for a story that is not my own, written by or for people who are not me. Unfortunately, I'm not sure I'm capable of leaving a good comment (comment anxiety is definitely a real thing), so I tend to stick with likes and kudos depending on where I'm reading.

Also, no, I'm not telling you which fandoms I consider mine, but I will say that they are almost all movie/TV fandoms but NOT movies/TV that I actually have watched more than a couple of episodes of. I find that knowing too much of canon spoils my enjoyment and makes nearly every person seem out of character. It's weird, I know, but it works for me.

Anyway, I guess that's all I have to say for now. It's getting late, and the hockey game is in its last period, and I have a sweater going that all I need to finish is the cuffs and maybe the pockets if I decide to add them, so I think I'll go do those things. Much love to all; hopefully I'll see you soon. I'd like to make this a habit again; writing down my weird random rambling thoughts and maybe sharing a few things I'm loving with the ether.

True Confessions of a SAHM: Glee and me

I know it's a weird time for this. Glee is heading into its...ummm...3rd? 4th? 5th season? Something like that. I don't know. And one of its stars, Corey Monteith, OD'd a couple of months ago.

But for some reason I started watching the first season the other day (thanks, I think, Amazon?)

I am HATING myself for this. Not because I'm not a soap opera type, but just because it's, frankly, obnoxious.

The only characters I feel any ability to sympathize with are Sue Sylvester's sister, Kurt's dad, and Finn's mom.

That's it.

The others are ALL irritating. I didn't have time for people like that when I was in high school.

The worst part is that the final episode of the season is the only one in which any of the characters seem to have shown any actual genuine character growth, and from having caught bits and pieces of other seasons, I really think it's NOT actually genuine.

UGH.

Just... UGH.

Anyway... the reason I'm watching?

The music. I love so much of the music. Except for Gaga & Madonna (but I kind of like Madonna, a little, at least her earlier stuff).

So, there you have it. Crap show, great music. I like the lessons they're trying to impart, but... I don't really think they're actually *doing* it. I really don't.

Just sayin'.

First Five Songs on Wednesday Morning

Sometimes I wonder about my iPod. Here are the first five songs it played on random shuffle this morning as I washed dishes and started potato soup in the crock pot.

1. Fly Me to the Moon -- Astrud Gilberto

I don't know who's in the video, but Astrud Gilberto was a popular Brazilian vocalist at the height of the Bossa nova movement in the 60s. This song was made famous by crooners like Frank Sinatra, but I think I prefer Astrud's version better.

2. Momisms (to the William Tell Overture) -- Anita Renfroe

Classic! Hysterical!

3. Psychotic Reaction -- Count Five

Seems... apt, after the mom one, doesn't it?

4. Leaning on a Lamp -- Herman's Hermits

I'm *fairly* certain it's a coincidence that this and the previous one were both released in 1966 -- two years before my husband was born, and nearly 14 before I was.

And finally...

5. Corcovado -- Astrud Gilberto

I rather think in this video she looks like she could have walked off the set of one of those super-cheesy (yet fun!) beach movies of the 60's -- you know the ones: Frankie and Annette, surfers versus bikers, girls in bikinis and boys in those gorgeous tight square-cut trunks. Anyway, Corcovado is both a mountain in Brazil and a National Park in Costa Rica; I'm fairly sure this song is referring to the former. Definitely a love song.

Anyway...videoless, here's the rest of the top 10:
6. It's Getting Better -- Mama Cass
7. Silly Love Songs -- Paul McCartney
8. Come Monday -- Jimmy Buffett
9. The Night Has a Thousand Eyes -- Bobby Vee
10. Andrew in Drag -- The Magnetic Fields.

You can't say my music doesn't have a sense of humor... ;)

Why I hate Twilight...

So a couple of things gelled in my mind this weekend. If you like Twilight, please don't hate me, and understand that this is just *my* opinion. Take it with a grain of salt, or leave it, but don't think I'm judging you. (Ok, I won't lie. I may well be judging you. But I won't let it affect my feelings toward you. Promise.)

It's been a while since I last attempted to read Twilight. The first time I couldn't get farther along than a couple of chapters, but somewhat recently I managed to get 1/3 of the way through before endangering my walls with it. Yes, I found it a wallbanger. What of it?

Anyway...

There are two songs which kind of encapsulate the two biggest issues I have with this book.

Problem #1: Bella. To me, Bella is the beige curtains of this song. She doesn't have a personality, at least in the way that I perceive personalities. She just...is, like furniture; she only impinges on your consciousness when she collapses under you.

Riki Lindhome (of Garfunkel and Oates) -- Beige Curtains


Problem #2 -- Edward. Nearly as much of a cypher as Bella; he struck me as a caricature of a classic 80s Alpha-hole hero, crossed with Anne Rice, with the added disadvantages of being a poorly aged frat boy AND sparkles (let's be honest. The only people who can get away with glitter on their bodies are underdressed girls/twinks at clubs and pre-teen girls. Think for a minute about what this says about Edward. Really. THINK about it.) I would never date him, myself, and if I can't get into him, why the HELL would I want to read about him? I read about guys I'd date or hang out with or be friends with. Not the opposite. Therefore, the song that best represents those feelings is.... *drumroll*

Self Esteem by (again) Garfunkel and Oates -- Riki Lindhome and Kate Micucci

Love these girls, love these songs...so, as a bonus for sticking with me through this, a song I expected to hate (but it grew on me): 

This Party Took a Turn for the Douche -- Garfunkel and Oates

Look 'em up! You won't regret it!