OK, so, this has been a really stressful month for me. There's been a lot of stuff going on on a personal front, which I won't get into here because the part that's mine to work through I'm not willing to share with anybody besides the few who already heard it all (and I'm probably going to be working through it for a LONG time; there is a lot of anger and sadness and all kinds of other negative emotions happening in my body right now). And the parts that aren't mine? Well, it's not really my place to share them; and anyway sharing wouldn't HELP the situation, and might, in fact, end up making things worse, sooo... radio silence it is.
In the let's see how much we can pile on to make life otherwise difficult category... well, let's see. Both vehicles have been needing work. The Jeep has, well, mushy brakes, but DH said they just need to be bled a little and they'll be fine. Well, OK, but that's not really something I can do for myself, so I'm gonna have to take it in somewhere. & since the brakes make me uncomfortable I won't drive the kids, so I haven't even so much as STARTED the Jeep in a couple of months, sooo...the battery's dead. & when I tried to jump it...well, let's just say it was a massive, monumental failure. Theoretically we have a charger somewhere; I may try that later, but if it doesn't work...well, I've never actually had to remove/replace a car battery before. So that will be interesting.
Since it's a (theoretically) quick & easy fix -- the brakes, anyway -- I want to get that done before I take the minivan in, because I have a feeling (a sinking feeling deep in my gut) that it's not going to be as easy a fix. It has been making this weird clunking, almost grinding noise. Not all the time, just on left turns. And not ALL left turns, just those where I his the gas pedal partway through the turns. So. In case it turns out to be long & involved, I want the Jeep working so I can still do grocery shopping & run errands & pick up kids & all that fun stuff.
Speaking of errands...
One errand I think I'm going to have to run is to take my cat to the vet. He's about 15 years old, and he's been kind of showing his age lately, getting slower and skinnier. But over the last couple of days he has gone seriously downhill. He's gaunt, he doesn't seem to eat or drink, he has bladder control issues, and he can't quite seem to make it if he tries to jump up on anything higher than my knee. His coat looks ungroomed, and he's...It looks like he's bleeding from random places. Like his gums; and his sleep-gunk is all bloody-looking...I think my poor old man is going into renal failure. And I cannot get him a vet appointment, and even if I can, if I'm right, there's nothing that can really be done, so I'm going to be losing my very dearly beloved friend. And it's killing me, because I have no one to hold me and hug me, except the kids. And when I talked to them about it, they just wanted to know how soon we can get a new kitten because "We should have an even number of pets, Mom. I prefer it that way."
So. Yeah. I'm here. I'm coping, barely.
I will admit to wanting to drop the kids on my mom and run away. If she didn't live so far away, I probably would.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Friday, August 3, 2012
See what happens when I blog tired?
I think one of the things that bothers me most about the whole Gay Marriage/Gay Hate Group thing is that the side against, and all the haters (No, really, ALL the haters...do you know any anti-gay groups that are not?) are "religious" groups. And insist on using the Bible in an attempt to justify and support their views.
I have a long-standing love-hate relationship with religion. The love part is because I was raised with it, in a church that was all about loving and uplifting. The hate part is due to churches that ended up being a lot like the ones that are all about anti-gay, "It's not bullying if it's in The Bible" groups that kind of turned my whole family off church period and forever, each for different things: for my mom, it was the oft-repeated-in-a-wealthy-church-community that women should be showpieces for their husband's money & sit at home all day taking care of kids and house at a time when my dad was out of work and Mom was the sole bread-winner. For my dad, it was an attitude that only white, white-collar men were "worthy" of positions in the church -- deacons, whatever -- when he, a white-collar worker, was incredibly proud of the blue-collar background of his parents and grandparents because their work-ethic made it possible for him to go to college and maybe find a less back-breaking way of life for himself and his family. For us kids, it was...well, when a kid has been taught to think independently and question EVERYTHING, and is then smacked down into a youth group that is told to question NOTHING, the end result is NOT gonna be pretty. Just sayin'.
I really really hate this because one of the parts of history that I loved the most was the study of the western religious movement -- Greek/Roman mythology on up through the breaking up of the church. Pretty much every moment of it has been interesting and thought-provoking for me. It has always seemed to me that, with the exception of some of the darker parts of the earliest mythologies, religion has always been about love and glory and beauty and hope and uplifting ourselves out of the physical everyday and into a mental and emotional place of amazement and joy. And many of the earliest splinters from the Catholic Church were about that -- Martin Luther's need to move away from the greed and lust for Earthly power, the Quakers' need to find a place where they could be peaceful without persecution...
The Founding Fathers of the United States specifically made it a part of the ideal of the nation -- Separation of Church and State; the idea that religion has no place in government, especially in the government of a nation founded on the idea that there is room for all (well, almost all) religious practices in this new nation of ours. (I'm sure there are a few religions out there with some practices that are...unsavory...to our first world sensibilities, and that many of us object to as being inhumane.)
And when you start quoting your Bible as a legitimate (in your view) reason to make something illegal, or start calling for voters to "put the church BACK in the government," well, I have to question whether you ever took a US History class. Or, y'know, passed one. Because if you had, you'd know that there was never any intention in the heads of those (yes, mostly Christian) leaders of ever having religion be a prominent force in law-making in this country. Because, and I cannot stress this enough:
One of our biggest, most important freedoms is the freedom of religion; that is, the freedom to practice whichever religion we wish -- or, to practice NO religion -- without the government being able to tell us, "NO, you're wrong, you MUST BELIEVE WHAT WE SAY is the only correct and right way to fulfill your spiritual needs."
In your quest to "Bring Christ back to the government," whose Christ are you going to use? I don't want YOUR Christ. He is bigoted, probably racist, anti-feminist and thoroughly unpleasant. I have some friends who go to some apparently very pleasant, inclusive, wonderful, loving, uplifting churches; I might like their Christ, given the opportunity, but I don't think their Christ is the same as yours, though. And I think you would fight him as much as you do the current state of affairs. Or what of my Jewish and Muslim friends? Even IF their particular sects of their greater religious affiliations agreed with you on issues like gay marriage, which you're outspokenly against, I don't think, somehow, you'd agree to having their Holiest of Books as the one in charge, despite the fact that the Old Testament of the Christians is the same as the Jewish Torah.
It is hard to continue in the childish belief that "God is Good" in the face of so much mean-spirited hatefulness flowing from the mouths and fingers of those who are supposed, theoretically, to be uplifting a "Gospel of Love and Truth" to the masses.
I believe that, had they the power to see into the future, to see and understand the way events have, to date, unfolded, our first great leaders might have said, not "all MEN are created equal," but "all MANKIND is created equal." We are all mankind -- male, female, trans*, straight, gay, Christian, Muslim, Jew, white, black, brown -- however you classify yourself.
And, frankly, if you want to live in a Church-governed country, well, I'm sure there are still a few around. Go find one of them. (Wikipedia suggest the only two current theocracies are Iran and Vatican City. Take your pick.)
I have a long-standing love-hate relationship with religion. The love part is because I was raised with it, in a church that was all about loving and uplifting. The hate part is due to churches that ended up being a lot like the ones that are all about anti-gay, "It's not bullying if it's in The Bible" groups that kind of turned my whole family off church period and forever, each for different things: for my mom, it was the oft-repeated-in-a-wealthy-church-community that women should be showpieces for their husband's money & sit at home all day taking care of kids and house at a time when my dad was out of work and Mom was the sole bread-winner. For my dad, it was an attitude that only white, white-collar men were "worthy" of positions in the church -- deacons, whatever -- when he, a white-collar worker, was incredibly proud of the blue-collar background of his parents and grandparents because their work-ethic made it possible for him to go to college and maybe find a less back-breaking way of life for himself and his family. For us kids, it was...well, when a kid has been taught to think independently and question EVERYTHING, and is then smacked down into a youth group that is told to question NOTHING, the end result is NOT gonna be pretty. Just sayin'.
I really really hate this because one of the parts of history that I loved the most was the study of the western religious movement -- Greek/Roman mythology on up through the breaking up of the church. Pretty much every moment of it has been interesting and thought-provoking for me. It has always seemed to me that, with the exception of some of the darker parts of the earliest mythologies, religion has always been about love and glory and beauty and hope and uplifting ourselves out of the physical everyday and into a mental and emotional place of amazement and joy. And many of the earliest splinters from the Catholic Church were about that -- Martin Luther's need to move away from the greed and lust for Earthly power, the Quakers' need to find a place where they could be peaceful without persecution...
The Founding Fathers of the United States specifically made it a part of the ideal of the nation -- Separation of Church and State; the idea that religion has no place in government, especially in the government of a nation founded on the idea that there is room for all (well, almost all) religious practices in this new nation of ours. (I'm sure there are a few religions out there with some practices that are...unsavory...to our first world sensibilities, and that many of us object to as being inhumane.)
And when you start quoting your Bible as a legitimate (in your view) reason to make something illegal, or start calling for voters to "put the church BACK in the government," well, I have to question whether you ever took a US History class. Or, y'know, passed one. Because if you had, you'd know that there was never any intention in the heads of those (yes, mostly Christian) leaders of ever having religion be a prominent force in law-making in this country. Because, and I cannot stress this enough:
One of our biggest, most important freedoms is the freedom of religion; that is, the freedom to practice whichever religion we wish -- or, to practice NO religion -- without the government being able to tell us, "NO, you're wrong, you MUST BELIEVE WHAT WE SAY is the only correct and right way to fulfill your spiritual needs."
In your quest to "Bring Christ back to the government," whose Christ are you going to use? I don't want YOUR Christ. He is bigoted, probably racist, anti-feminist and thoroughly unpleasant. I have some friends who go to some apparently very pleasant, inclusive, wonderful, loving, uplifting churches; I might like their Christ, given the opportunity, but I don't think their Christ is the same as yours, though. And I think you would fight him as much as you do the current state of affairs. Or what of my Jewish and Muslim friends? Even IF their particular sects of their greater religious affiliations agreed with you on issues like gay marriage, which you're outspokenly against, I don't think, somehow, you'd agree to having their Holiest of Books as the one in charge, despite the fact that the Old Testament of the Christians is the same as the Jewish Torah.
It is hard to continue in the childish belief that "God is Good" in the face of so much mean-spirited hatefulness flowing from the mouths and fingers of those who are supposed, theoretically, to be uplifting a "Gospel of Love and Truth" to the masses.
I believe that, had they the power to see into the future, to see and understand the way events have, to date, unfolded, our first great leaders might have said, not "all MEN are created equal," but "all MANKIND is created equal." We are all mankind -- male, female, trans*, straight, gay, Christian, Muslim, Jew, white, black, brown -- however you classify yourself.
And, frankly, if you want to live in a Church-governed country, well, I'm sure there are still a few around. Go find one of them. (Wikipedia suggest the only two current theocracies are Iran and Vatican City. Take your pick.)
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