journey

"Happiness is the journey, not the destination."

Sunday, October 30, 2011

*blinkity blink*

ZOMG. I have actual followers. And some of them are even people I *don't* know IRL.


Srsly, I love you guys!!

Friday, October 28, 2011

Some pretty :D

Not particularly work-safe, so I'll try a break:

reading reading reading...

Have been searching out free ebooks in an effort to curtail my spending habits, and preordered earlier in the month all of Riptide Publishing's very first month of releases. So very very happy to have all of those and so excited to get started reading them! But of course, the Halloween weekend comes first. I have made the wings for my littlest guy's costume -- vaguely moth-like in shape, and safety-pinned to a shirt rather like a cape (but attached at neck  and wrists; he loves them. Also there are feathery antennae made from crafting feathers taped to a construction paper "crown." Lo-tech, perhaps, but he thinks it's just about the Most Awesome Thing EVER. Eventually I shall get around to posting pictures.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

somehow this feels relevant

I'm Nobody! Who are you? (260)   by Emily Dickinson

I'm Nobody! Who are you?
Are you – Nobody – too?
Then there's a pair of us!
Don't tell! they'd advertise – you know!

How dreary – to be – Somebody!
How public – like a Frog –  
To tell one's name – the livelong June –  
To an admiring Bog!

Friday, October 21, 2011

Extraordinary Things

There has been sad stuff going on for some of my online friends (I'm *extremely* periphery to it all, so I don't have all the details, and to be honest, I don't need to.) But it's led to...not exactly a discussion of, but an awareness off the need for Extraordinary Things. Which I think, for many of us, means, not so much acts of heroism as acts of accomplishment, whether it's finally knocking those unpleasant tasks off your to-do list or simply being available to a friend who needs an ear. (btw, I hope you know you have mine if you need it. Even if we're far apart, if you really know me, you know how to get in touch. Get in touch. Really.)

Also, today is my 11th wedding anniversary. Which is always a bit of a reflective thing for me, and I find it hard to get up enthusiasm for celebration -- although I'm very happy about it! It marks not just the day that my DH and I got married, but also some fairly traumatic and stressful events that were ocurring about that time. The biggest one, of course, was that our daughter, at the time not quite 4 months old, was in the hospital after undergoing two neurosurgeries to correct a subdural hematoma. (If you don't know, this is an incidence of bleeding in the brain cavity.) Luckily, this was a small bleed, and it corrected itself, but there WERE two surgeries involved, both of them to install temporary shunts to drain fluid off her brain. We were insanely lucky; she never needed to go into intensive care, and the neurosurgeon proclaimed her perfectly healthy (no more bleeding; no apparent damage) by Thanksgiving -- and she was released from the hospital the day after we were married. But because of the nature of her injury (subdural hematoma is most commonly ascribed to Shaken Baby Syndrome, a part of the pantheon of tell-tales) we were, of course, scrutinized carefully by law officers and Dpt of Families & Children.

Obviously, there's a lot more to the story than this little bit, but sadly, to me, this day is more of a reminder of the fact that we were surrounded by family and spending most of our free time (which meant all the time for me) at the hospital where our tiny girl had tubes in her head rather than a moment of sheer joy.

So for me, doing some Extraordinary today is reminding myself that today is a good thing. I still feel butterflies whenever I see my husband, and even when I'm mad at him (unless it's something I absolutely NEED to be mad about) I have a hard time staying that way. He can calm me when I'm upset, supports me when I need it, is always a ready shoulder when I need to cry or lean. He can bandage skinned knees, is amazing with kids and a football or a lightsaber or a fishing rod, and seems to know when everything is getting to be too much & I just need time and space away from the house. I'm going to try to honor that, strange as it may sound, by spending today pampering myself so that I can be relaxed and happy and well-rested for him tonight, so that I can maybe pamper HIM a little, too.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

BOOKS!

I have them and I need to not have them anymore. But I also really want to give them to friends who think they would like them. Shortlist, right now, because I'm still in the process of going through stuff. These are all books that I have duplicates of rather than simply books I don't particularly care for.

Marion Zimmer Bradley:
 The Forbidden Tower
 The Heritage of Hastur
 Sharra's Exile

Adriana Trigiani:
 Big Stone Gap

L. Frank Baum: (my brother has first dibs at claimed these)
 The Tin Woodman of OZ
 The Land of OZ
 The Lost Princess of OZ
 Rinkitink in Oz

Roald Dahl:
 The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar and Six More

Ruth Sawyer:
 Roller Skates

I will (hopefully) have more to add to this list at a later date. For now, just let me know!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

People can be so thoughtless, sometimes. And judgmental.*

So there was this conversation posted on Circle of Moms today:

Q:
Encourage or discourage your children from playing with opposite-gender toys?
Whether your son is into Barbie or your daughter loves Tonka in the mud, some parents find it surprising when their children of one gender express an interest in toys or make believe that we typically associate with the other gender. Does this concern you, or do you encourage it? Or do you even think it matters?

And this is the answer I wrote:

Honestly, the bigger problem to me is the sexualization of toys for little girls. My boys play with dolls and ponies AND dinosaurs and cars. If they want pink, they can have pink. Different kinds of toys encourage different kinds of play, and "girl" toys seem to promote empathy and thoughtfulness and gentle behavior, in general, more than stereotypically "boy" toys. I want my boys to have the ability to be tender and thoughtful, and to empathise with others' feelings. I want my daughter to be strong and self-assured and stand up for herself. Pink and pastels never hurt any boys, and darker colors won't damage girls, any more than playing in the mud will hurt anyone. Some people who say it all much better than I ever could, check out this blog: http://blog.pigtailpals.com/

But I have lots more I'd like to say about it, right here.

My understanding is that most parents object to boys playing with "girl" toys and vice versa because they're Good Little Christians (something I fully admit I'm not. At best, I'm a Bad Christian, at worse, a Complete Heathen.) and Good Little Christians don't want to let their kids grow up to be Teh GAY. And I gotta ask, "Really? You really think that the toys your kid wants to play with are going to determine this?" And also "Is your love for your child so fragile a thing that it can be lost for such a reason?" At best, the toys my kids play with are perhaps an "early warning system" so I'll be prepared for what will, no doubt, be a whole lot of heartbreak and teenage angst if, perhaps, one or both of my boys is gay. And honestly, I'd like that because I'd like to start the dialogue early. I'd like my kids to grow up accepting that we're all different, that different isn't actually a bad thing.

And, parents, how exactly do you plan on keeping your kids from playing with the "wrong" toys? Are you going to cloister your daughters in a Barbie-land of pinks and improbably proportioned female dolls? Are your sons going to be raised by uber-Butch men, taught only by other men in a rarefied male-only private school with 20-foot privacy/security walls? 'Cause that's just gonna work so well, let me tell you! What's wrong with giving your sons the opportunity to learn to be kinder, gentler, more empathetic men, or your daughters the chance to change the world by being stronger, smarter, more self-reliant? I don't want a Barbie-doll for a little girl, and I don't want a robot for a son. There are more than a few straight female long-distance truckers out there, and, I'm sure, some straight male clothing designers -- for men AND women, although Fashion Design is a Whole Nother Blog Post from this gal!

Many of these misconceptions about being gay are rooted in the Christian belief that homosexuality is a sin (almost worse than murder!) and to debunk those, I'd like to point you in the direction of Mr. Mark Sandlin, a Presbyterian minister in North Carolina, and his post Clobbering "Biblical" Gay Bashing. In this article, he tackles all the Bible verses most commonly held up as directives against homosexuality and debunks them. Every last one. In a style that is thoughtful, entertaining, logical, nearly lyrical. AND he quotes Monty Python. I will recap it for you.

Mr. Sandlin claims that the only sins specifically listed for the doomed city-state of Sodom are those of non-hospitality, marginalization of certain groups (orphans, widows, the poverty-stricken), injustice, and bullying. [Hmmm...sounds a LOT like some of the issues gays are currently facing, don't it?] In the book of Leviticus, he states, we find "...a mandate to kill disobedient children, a dietary restriction to not eat shellfish (God Hates Shrimp!), a law that would prevent bowl-cuts (or “rounding off the side-growth of your heads” – and to think I liked the Beatles), direction to not touch or eat the flesh of a pig (no bacon and cheddar soup for you)..." yet many choose to overlook those in current society because we have progressed (and I use the word with reservations and extreme prejudice) societally to a point where they no longer make sense. Mr. Sandlin suggests that part of *that* issue was a misinterpretation of "purity" based on the science -- or lack thereof -- back in the day. Further, he argues that mis-translation coupled with misinterpretation of the Greek word <i>"physikos"</i> is a part of the current problem. That word, he states, is often translated as "natural," where its originators meant "produced by nature." We interpret "natural" to be equivalent to "normal" rather than to mean "the way it was created." Or, to put it another way, "born that way." He closes by maintaining that to use the Bible as a defense of homophobia is to a.) be guilty of judging others ("Judge not lest ye be judged.") and b.) be guilty of taking the Lord's name in vain (using the Word of God under false pretences.)

I'm telling you, I would so haul the whole Ravening Barbarian Horde to church on Sundays if I could hear this guy -- or someone like him -- preach. Even if I had to get up at 6 and bully everyone else into getting up and dressed and fed.
I know that, to most of the people who might read this blog (because hopefully, you are already my friend elsewhere) I am preaching to the choir. And to you, I promise, if one day one of my kids comes up to me and says, "Mom, I'm gay." I will respond with a hug. And I will say, "I love you. I hope that one day, you will find someone special who will recognize how amazing you are, and how frustrating, and will love you for it, but until then, and after, and even if it never happens at all, I love you." And I will do everything I can for my kids, whether they're straight or gay or whatever, to support them through whatever crazy shit life throws at them.

And if you're not already my friend, and you can agree with and sympathise with my views, Thanks. It's nice to meet you. Stay awhile; maybe we have more in common.

*Yes, even me. I freely admit, I'm totally judging other parents who respond, based on their responses. Especially the one who wants her kids to understand that "there's boy stuff and girl stuff and there's a reason why they're different." --Um. Well, girls have bras and boys have athletic cups, because they have different equipment that needs different kinds of support and protection, but that's about it as far as I can tell.

Monday, October 17, 2011

practicing my vocab words

I usually attempt to be well-spoken and thoughtful (ok, well, most of the time anyway) but today my brain is blown. Due, no doubt, to the effects of doing 5 (yup, count 'em, 5) loads of laundry today. All bedding ephemera: comforters, sheets, mattress pads, blankets and afghans and pillows and stuffed animals. Some of it is standard we-all-change-our-sheets-every-weekend stuff, but there's also a bunch of both-boys-apparently-had-accidents-overnight combined with a little of my-parents-came-to-visit-and-brought-hand-me-down-sheets. The only bedding-type thing that hasn't been washed but probably should be is the quilt from my bed. But by the time all the rest of it is done, I'm just not sure there's going to be room on the line for it (I already had to bring in one load to finish up in the dryer...)

And then I have a load and a half of pants & stuff, and almost a full load of t-shirts & underwear, and then there's the kitchen and table linens, and the bathroom linens, and the massive pile of rag and rugs and dog-bed and the like...And it's supposed to rain tomorrow and MAYBE the next day, so we're looking at up to 2 days of no laundry line...

Not to mention the fact that I paid bills today, and it's going to be kind of an extra half-week before payday (maybe not, but I need to plan for it, anyway) and all the dishes that always need doing and I've forgotten what I was going to cook for dinner and and and.... *Deep Breath*

I have some bananas I'd *really* like to make into banana bread. I have some pumpkin in the fridge I really need to use up and a recipe for Pumpkin Crescent rolls I'd love to try. And some biscotti recipes I've been wanting to make for a couple of weeks now... If I can manage ONE of those today, and slowly get to the rest over the course of the week, it will all be good.

And Friday's my 11th wedding anniversary.

Overwhelmed: I haz one.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

*PANIC*

ohshitohshitohshit.

Backstory: Last weekend my grandpa was taken from nursing home to hospital with gallstones. Hospital determined he should have lost the gallbladder ages ago, so he had surgery to remove it (there was an infection which had thankfully not spread to bile duct/pancreas/liver/whatever other organs are in that general vicinity) -- this is not about him. He had surgery, is doing fine, back in nursing home. Since he *is* doing fine, my parents are coming to visit this weekend. By which I mean, they'll get here sometime tonight, and leave Sunday morning.

Over the summer, the Barbarian Horde and I spent a month with them, during which time I raided the attic for booksbooksbooks, went through papers (and found a bunch of stuff -- artwork, certificates, newpaper clippings & other random memorabilia), and dug through the storage closet for outgrown clothes of mine that will work for the Darling Daughter over the next year or two. I filled up two ginormous rubbermaid tubs (yes, the BIG ones. What are they, 50 gal? Maybe more? I don't know.) These tubs are the problem.

They are full of stuff. Srsly, when I say full, I mean I-was-only-JUST-barely-able-to-close-the-lid full. And there was...overflow. Like, two tomato boxes worth of overflow (tomato boxes hold fresh tomatoes from the canning factory -- they will sell them to home-canners, although I'm not sure I understand WHY. They hold about a bushel of tomatoes. Maybe half a bushel? I don't know; it's been a while since I helped w/ the tomatoes. One box holds about a dozen quart-size Mason jars.) And a lot of that stuff is books. Books are lovely, books are good, I firmly believe this:


My husband, sadly, disagrees. And to an extent I can see his point. I mean, the only way to find shelf space for any more books in my house would be to pack up or throw away his collection of penguins, some of my collection of cats, all the kids' DVDs, the adult TV show DVDs, and a lot of craft supplies.

So. Um. Yeah, I'm probably gonna be in trouble later. I shall be doing some reorganizing of the "Do I really REALLY need/want these books?" variety.

I may have to make a spreadsheet of the stuff I end up getting rid of, just so I can buy it again later in digital format (just so it takes up less space.)

Pray for me!

(And one day, I may blog the pumpkin bars. I have a couple or three pictures and everything! I just hate downloading pictures to the computer...)

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Fall and cooking

I love fall. I love to cook in fall. I'm a fan of spending time cooking in my kitchen (cleaning is another matter, but that's another post entirely. :P )

So this is going to be all about WHY I love cooking in fall, and some new recipes I'm planning on trying here soon.

The why of it all: Partly, I suppose, it's because of the ingredients. I love starting with fresh produce, and it's more readily available in the fall -- pumpkins and squashes (granted I'm not a huge squash fan, but they make good soups, and they *look* pretty) and apples...oh, apples! *sigh* Plus, of course, the stuff I love to make -- soups and stews, casseroles, pot roast, chili -- they are all much better suited to eating and cooking in cooler weather, when the heat from them is more welcome. So, yeah, fall suits my cooking style right down to the ground.

Now, what I'm looking forward to making: biscotti. Lots and lots of biscotti. I'm a tea drinker, rather than a coffee drinker, but biscotti goes equally well with either drink. The crispness lends itself to dunking, and it's usually less sweet than other types of cookie. Plus, they mail well, if you're planning on a home-made treat for friends or family far away (how'd you like my alliteration?)

Pumpkin: I have a whole huge list of stuff I want to make using pumpkin -- biscotti, soup, bread, scones, pumpkin butter... Every year in the fall, I always get a couple of extra pumpkins besides the ones we're going to carve for Hallowe'en. At some point (usually around Thanksgiving) I cut 'em up and peel 'em, and cook them down and mash them up and freeze the pulp, in 2-cup portions. Then, throughout the year, whenever I want to make scones or pumpkin bread or pumpkin cheesecake or whatever, I can just pull a little out of the freezer and go for it.

A friend recently posted a recipe on Google+ for her homemade butternut squash-and-apple soup. It sounded good. I may try it.

I have seen several interesting apple-pie variations, lately; I'm seriously considering trying one or more of them, plus my perennial favorite, Tennessee Apple Upside Down Cake.

Then, of course, there's my dinners -- Basque Chicken Pie, Crock-Pot Pot Roast, Chicken Fricassee...

I'm not planning on doing any serious Food Blogging, but I may start taking pictures and posting them (along with recipes) here. As an occasional thing.