I Read a Book Today...

I know, right? The truth is I've read at least a book a day, if not more (if they're short & fluffy) for a long time now. But this one was so.... Yeah.

It really needs a write-up, if only to try desperately to straighten out the confusion in my head. Several sessions of fine-tooth-combing the sections involved didn't help clear up a few timeline issues I was having. And the worst part? The first time I read this was several years ago, so this is an older reread for me. I don't remember noticing these problems the first time through. I must have changed and grown or something...

Anyway, the book:

Causing Havoc by Lori Foster

Blurb (from author's website): Sexy, sculpted extreme fighter Dean “Havoc” Connor has knee-melting good looks-and thick skin. But not from his brutal sport’s enclosed rings. Orphaned and torn from his sisters as a boy, he has no family. That is, until he gets a letter revealing how much the once-little girls want him back in Harmony, Kentucky.

To stop his sister from marrying a man as sleazy as he is wealthy, Dean finds himself teaming up with her pretty-but-smart-mouthed friend Eve — who’s heard of “Havoc’s” reputation and doesn’t need some hunk trampling on her heart. Now all Dean has to do is protect his sisters, win Eve over, and expose a devious criminal.

And he thought winning the heavyweight cage fighting belt was hard.

Now, me... and it will be behind a cut, because... Here there be spoilers, yo!

Busy Mama!

With the DH in Miami (still!) it has been a daily struggle to find stuff to keep the kids happy while still getting the house cleaned, and spending the minimum of money. And, y'know. Staying sane myself.

One thing that really really helps is that the boys have a friend who lives just a half a block (y'know, give or take) away. 5 houses to the corner, turn left. Three lots up, turn right. Down 4-ish more houses, and we're there! His dad works from home doing customer service (it's not a dream! But I don't think I would be a good candidate; I'm the type to want to organize sock drawers...) so the kids can pretty much be at either place -- here or there -- & it's all good. They usually choose there, because "there" includes a POOL. Not an in-ground pool, but still a pretty decent one. Apparently, the 2/3 of the Barbarian Horde who go down there are in and out of the pool so much it's not worth the effort to send them with dry clothes. Or towels. & I'm ok with that.

The other thing, that I sadly didn't discover early enough in the summer (I'll know better next year!) is that one of the big theatre chains (I want to say Regal, but I am not absolutely positive) does older movies on Tues/Thurs for $1. I don't have the full list, but this summer they've done all the Harry Potter movies in one auditorium & in another they've had something animated for smaller kids -- we saw Pirates: Band of Misfits last week; this week was Rise of the Guardians, and next week is Hotel Transylvania. It's been fun. Popcorn & drinks are $1.50 each, so we can do the whole theater experience for $4 each. Which, with 3 or 4 kids tagging along, is a HUGE BARGAIN. So.

Rise of the Guardians

Honestly, I thought this was a pretty decent movie. The animation was impressive & I liked the storyline a lot. It wasn't too much for my kids, and I think they took the mild lesson to heart -- belief can be a powerful thing, and fear is a shadow in the face of joy and wonder. Anyway, the very best part was watching my kids' faces as they watched -- VelcroBoy in particular has a very expressive countenance. 

So for now, I'm cleaning because I have a friend who's in the area visiting for a couple of days and, while they probably won't actually come to my house, it's as good an excuse for getting some stuff finally done as any... :D

ADD, Calvin (and Hobbes), Math, Nincompoopery, and Hockey

This is the kind of thing that happens to me when folding laundry with my kids...

VelcroBoy: "I hate folding my clean laundry."

Me: "Me, too. That's why I taught you how to do your own, so I don't have to do it for you."

VB: *sighs* "Mommy?"

Me: "Yep?"

VB: "How do you spell 'nincompoop'?"

Me: "N-I-N-C-O-M-P-O-O-P"

VB: "Ok, I was just checking. Mommy, what's a nincompoop? Is it like Calvin or like Hobbes?"

Me: "Well, it's sort of being ridiculous*, or maybe unreliable."

VB: "So, like Calvin, then. He's always messing up."

Me: "Well, I usually think of it as more unreliable and not able to do stuff. Calvin isn't unable to do stuff, he just gets bored and distracted."

VB: "So, it's kind of like he has ADD, too?!" He sounded so excited, like here was his role model, like it's OK to be distracted, because, HEY! It happens to Calvin, too, and everybody loves Calvin, so he's going to be like Calvin and that's *awesome*!

*note: I just looked up the dictionary definition of nincompoop; it is a "silly, ridiculous, or foolish person."

So we talk a little about his ADD, and how he gets distracted in school, but it doesn't mean that he's stupid or bad or anything like that. I tell him that ALL little kids his age tend to get distracted; ADD just means that it's that much harder for him to get back on track and stay there than it is for some other kids, especially when it's something that he's not interested in, like math, or that's boring, like writing stuff over and over again. Then there's a little talk about whether or not we can someday move to someplace like where Calvin and Hobbes live, with lots of snow and hills and trees, and I have to explain that a) I will never live that far north because I'm anti-snow, and b) about the real estate market and that we can't afford the loss we'd take on the house if we tried to sell it right now. Which prompted this:

VB: "I want a job that makes large money!"

Me: "Ok, so what did you have in mind?"

VB: "I could play hockey! Do hockey players make a lot of money?"

Me: "Well, yeah, kind of, but only if they're really good."

VB: "Then, I want to be as good as Sidney Crosby."

So we have a little talk about how Sidney Crosby has been skating and playing hockey practically as long as he's been able to walk, and VelcroBoy hasn't had that same advantage so he's not likely to be good on quite that same level. Which leads to a cry of "But I don't like MATH!" from VelcroBoy.

Me: "Well, you know, there's other jobs, too. Like, you like to do science stuff; you might want to be a scientist when you're older. And you'll have to know a LOT of math for that. And really, you need math to play hockey, too. You need to use a little math to figure out where the puck is going when you shoot it, and whose path it's going to intersect. And you'll want to be able to make sure that you're getting paid correctly, or that whoever you have taking care of your paycheck is doing their job correctly so you don't get cheated."

VB: "I guess I'll HAVE to learn that kind of math, then." *rolls eyes, sighs* *leaves to take laundry to his room*

Me: "Yup, and to do that, you need to learn what they're teaching you in school right now, too!"

All is quiet for a few moments, then...

VB: "Mommy, what's a paycheck?"

Funny, where their little minds drift off to.

Diversity

I'm not naming names, but someone close to me has been posting stuff about immigration recently on Facebook -- stuff like "Like and Share this picture if you don't want to be forced to learn a second language to accommodate illegal immigrants." You know the stuff I mean, I'm sure.

This saddens me, really a lot for several reasons: first, no one is being "forced" to learn a second language in order to "accommodate" anyone. There are several very good and valid reasons, some of them solely about the way our brains create neural pathways, for learning a second language. We are a member of a global society; not everyone we are ever going to interact with speaks only English or even halfway decent English (although my understanding is that it's becoming more and more common a second language in other countries). And if we were in fact being forced to learn a second language for the sake of others, surely there would be a standard language that was the only second language available to learn (maybe varying regionally?) Not to mention many fields of study's jargons can be almost like having to learn a completely different language (have you ever asked or been asked "Once more, in English this time, please?").

Chinese dragon

SO.

My biggest reason why stuff like this saddens me is that it seems to want to homogenize our nation. Setting aside the question of the legality of the immigrants speaking other languages -- we have no way of knowing, just from looking at someone, if they're legal or not; language is hardly a clue. They may very well be able to speak and understand English but choose not to on what they consider home ground, or may have trouble with it for one reason or another.

One of the things I find most fascinating and compelling about the United States is all the little pockets of foreign culture that pockmark the country. You can, in some cases, literally cross a street and be immersed in a completely different way of life: different styles of architecture and decoration, dress, food...and language is a vital and integral part of that. How much less magical would Chinatown be if all the shopkeepers and passersby and customers spoke in unaccented, textbook, workaday American English? What nuances would be lost?

Taste of Greece 2012 -- Chicago (from: Greektown Chicago)

This country was built, as it is now, on immigration, and for many many years there were few if any restrictions. The people who came here came searching for something that was not available to them in their home countries: freedom to make their own choices, freedom from religious persecution, jobs...are we now to turn others away from the search for those same things? I get that we can't support the entire world. There are people here who are still looking for work, who are persecuted for their religious beliefs, even, ironically, those who use their religious beliefs as grounds to persecute others. And there were people harmed -- harmed DEEPLY -- by the way European settlers went about creating nations on these continents. We're not perfect. But it seems to me hypocritical in the extreme to on one hand proclaim what a great country we are, and on the other, attempt to deny all the things which made us.

Irish step dancers (from Savannah Irish Festival)

More thinking-out-loud about girly parts and sexual content of books and what doesn't bother me.

We seem to have a new kerfuffle which is really just an old kerfuffle revisited around the community in which I read and interact. We'll just call it the OMGLADYBITS!! problem and move on from there.

I'm just going to make a brief rebuttal of some things that were said on a site which shall be nameless (if for some reason you don't know but want to, email or something and I'll tell you but you will probably be all head-asplodey) and which I have since removed from my blog feed because really? I don't need that shit in my life right now, and anyway, as a review site it was becoming less and less relevant to my actual INTERESTS, y'know, because of how books that I thought sucked donkeywater were given highest accolades and books that I thought were funny/cute/interesting/otherwise pushed some boundaries in an opening-up-the-mind kind of way were dismissed as lame/trite/blah/whatthefuckever.

ANYway.

I read. I read a LOT of stuff, yeah, some "Literary Fiction" and some nonfiction, and mystery and science fiction and fantasy and and and... yeah. Most of what I read, though, is romance. Or one of the other things with strong romantic elements.

People like to put things in boxes.

Boxes are OK, sometimes. I mean, I like to have a box (basket, drawer, whatevs) to keep my cheeses separate from my eggs separate from my condiments in my fridge. I have a nice little box in the pantry which I keep full of approved snack items for my kids where they can reach, and I have another nice little box out of their reach where I keep the "Only Occasionally" treats. I have a box for the kitty litter, because, let's be honest, you *don't* want that just spreading out all over the floor.

You know what I don't put in boxes? Books.

Piles, yes. Shelves, naturally. Randomly stuck down the side of the couch so I can pick it right back up in the morning? Oh, HELLS yeah. Boxes, though? Not so much. Only when we're moving. Or I'm mailing them to someone. For a while, I kept some in a box under my bed, but then I decided I wasn't ashamed of it, I just didn't want my 7YO boy reading b/c Holy Inappropriate, Batman! So I put all that stuff on the bottom shelf of the bookcase in my bedroom where no one but my mom and my sister ever look, and they're grown-ups and if they go poking and get shocked, SO NOT MY PROBLEM.

Also, do you know what paper books don't have that a lot of ebooks (especially from small presses) do? Warning labels. To me, that's like the Darwin Awards-worthy labels on push mowers warning the user not to pick it up & try to use it to trim the hedges. I mean, really. They should all say "Warning: Thoughts Ahead. Make Sure Mind Open, Or Put Down NOW."

So, when I read romance, I don't go into it with any expectations, beyond the expectations of a minimum of typos. And that I will be entertained (unless I'm reading for some reason other than entertainment. Even then, entertainment is a plus). And if I'm reading a romance written within the last 20 or so years, I do generally expect sex. Particularly if it's an erotic romance, when I expect LOTS of sex. Hopefully well-written sex, but I will settle for cliche and throbbing parts and excessive dampness. The point is, though, I don't look for a particular TYPE of sex. I'll take girl parts, boy parts, alien parts... in whatever combinations and numbers. I've never been "blindsided" by menages, or het sex in a gay romance, or gay/lesbian/trans* sex in a het romance. In fact, one of the reasons I gravitated AWAY from het romance is that it has been feeling too confining. There's a formula for sex, and a formula for characters, and a formula for story. I hoped by moving over toward more of a LGBTQ-friendly reading space, I would come across different types of relationships, characters who didn't fall into the same old stereotypes, new takes on old tropes...

For the most part, I've found that. There's been less of the -LBTQ than of the G-, granted, but I'm digging a little deeper and seeing more. I'm seeing more interracial romances, some May-Decembers where the balance of power is a bit different. I'm even seeing more babies -- with fewer Plot Moppets, although still plenty of those -- which I love (side note: I've seen some people despairing that some of their favorite series are moving toward the baby-crazy, despite being m/m pairings. I'm all like, YES PLEASE MORE OF THAT! because you don't have to be ovaried to believe "Families should grow, not shrink." (quote from Strawberries for Dessert by the lovely Marie Sexton).

So, dear authors who might accidentally read this, Give me girly bits along with the man-sex! I'll read it! The only place I demand to know what to expect sexually is the space where I'm sharing said sexual content with my very own husband in our very own bed. I don't object to warnings about dubious consent because my enjoyment of that is dubious, at best, but I also don't refuse to read it. And I only DNF if I can't actually connect with characters or plot -- some of those stories would probably have been improved by more sex! Give me variety! Give me interesting people doing interesting things! (It doesn't have to be save-the-world interesting; I'm a homebody, so domestic weirdness interests me.)

And, hey, if I ever run across ACTUAL heterosexual intercourse in a romance with gay male protagonists, maybe I'll be shocked enough to actually review it!