Sometimes, it's hard.

Sometimes, it's hard to be a mom. Summer break, especially. While I love my kids (hereafter known as the Ravening Barbarian Horde), I'm also one of those people who needs solitude. I just need, on occasion, to take a step--or 12--away from the everyday, and focus myself internally (books, TV, a movie--whatever; just as long as it's all about me, Me, ME). And that can be really hard to do when you have kids, especially when at least one of those kids is always needing contact and reassurance. Yes, it's cute when my 6YO comes up to me, cuddles close, and says, "Mommy, I love you!" But it's less cute when it's happened approximately every 15 minutes of every waking moment of every day for the last week. And wait till we hit a month of it! The bickering starts within an hour of waking up, and the whining for more TV time/video games/I wanna go here, do this, buy that! in three. And then the dogs think, Let's join in! and start rough-housing. And the cats find the catnap mice, or decide the laptop where I'm typing or browsing or whatever would be a *perfect* place for a nap (convenient for me to pet them, y'know...) and next thing I know, I'm all but climbing the walls.

And, as much as I love my husband as well, he doesn't exactly help. He usually manages to come home at least once during the day (sometimes as many as 3 times!) and usually manages to interrupt something (sorry, love, but it's the truth!) which throws whatever crazy schedule I've managed to cobble together all to pieces. And he turns on the TV, which just makes the kids *worse* when he's gone, and unless we're watching DVR'ed episodes of NCIS or Castle or The Big Bang Theory, he's watching stuff that I either find revolting (can't handle fishing or horror) or just inappropriate for the kids (true crime) or just plain unappealing (Man vs. Food). And after the Ravening Barbarian Horde is in bed, I want to spend one-on-one time with the Man of the House--but I'd prefer it not be in front of the TV--but that means I have to put me off till after he goes to bed, which means I end up staying up till 2 a.m. And the kids are still getting up at 7. And fighting.

So, yeah. I'm thinking about re-instituting the afternoon nap, even though we're all supposed to be at a stage in our lives where we don't need such a thing. And OMG it's going to be rough when my alarm starts going off at 6 a.m. to get the boys up and out the door for the school bus...