I'll be honest here: I've just about researched myself out on this subject, but what's problematic for me right now is the school system. My youngest is 8, and last year he was diagnosed officially with ADD. He doesn't have the Hyperactivity part that is so often associated, and he seems (according to the doctor who diagnosed him, for whatever that's worth) to only have a mild case. And the only meds she could offer me are designed to treat the hyperactivity part of the equation, so for now we're trying to go the non-medicated route.
There are SO MANY PROBLEMS with this, that I'm torn about whether or not this is the right choice to make. The two big problems at the root of it all are school and therapy.
There are maybe four therapists locally who treat kids w/ ADHD who accept our insurance. NONE of them are able to help us. I have called all of them, and talked to them, and visited them, and all of them say they have no therapies that might help VelcroBoy's focus, but they have lots of things they can do for hyperactivity, but ONLY if he's on meds for it. But why would he be on meds or therapy for hyperactivity when he's not hyperactive?
As for the school... Well, let's start with the teachers. Every year, I have had a discussion with his teacher before the start of the school year. This year it was very simple. "VelcroBoy was diagnosed with ADD last year. He doesn't have the hyperactivity portion, just the attention deficit. He is not currently on meds (with the explanation of the bit about WHY he's not on meds)." I explain a bit about problems he's had in classrooms in the past, problems we have at home with homework, a few strategies that have helped in the past. Teacher says, "OK, I've had ADHD kids in my classroom before; we'll work together and it'll be fine." Less than a full week into the school year and the teacher is somehow baffled by my kid exhibiting the EXACT SAME ISSUES I explained to her about! Really, did you think I was making it up? Exaggerating? WHAT? Yes, I'm a SAHM. No, I'm not an idiot. I am capable of evaluating my kid's issues and warning you and YOU are the one who chose to ignore what I had to say.
As for the school as a whole... the best they have to offer, given budget restraints, is that they might be able to come up with a paraprofessional to work with him one-on-one for about 20 minutes a day. Which might, maybe, be enough to get him through ONE classroom assignment per day. But other than that, they don't really have any resources or budget for anything else. And the rest of the local system is in just as "dire straits." The nearest private school is a church school that doesn't have a good reputation academically, and the nearest school that might possibly help him is in Savannah. Which I can't exactly afford -- even if, by some accident of God, it were possible to get him fully scholarshiped, I couldn't afford the gas to drive there and back, plus the after school care DinoBoy would need.
Anyway, I know that medication seems to really help some kids -- and their parents. I'm not judging anybody who chooses that route; we all have to make the decision that works for us. I just don't think it's the appropriate response for my kid. But I'm also feeling like I'm being steamrollered into it by the sheer lack of any other option available to me.
And it doesn't help that every time VelcroBoy has to do something that makes him unhappy, and nearly everything that is not what he wants to do makes him unhappy, he develops a mysterious tummyache or headache or other minor ailment that never comes to anything...
*sigh* I don't know. Am I doing the right thing? Is it time to start thinking about medication? Do I need to look harder for therapies? I just feel lost and helpless about this.
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